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Forums / Staying well / This bipolar life

Topic: This bipolar life

  1. velvetfaerie
    velvetfaerie avatar
    2672 posts
    13 January 2020 in reply to velvetfaerie
    Today was not a good day... but then everything turned right around and ended splendid.
  2. quirkywords
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    6073 posts
    14 January 2020 in reply to velvetfaerie

    I am starting my new year in February , any takers?

    I am so tired, I feel all this is happening to someone else.

    Quirky

  3. velvetfaerie
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    2672 posts
    14 January 2020 in reply to quirkywords
    January the trial month. Not a bad idea.

    Thinking of you.

    V.
  4. Chee70
    Chee70 avatar
    1 posts
    15 January 2020

    Hi

    I’m a newbie but not to mental health issues. Have had now 3 major episodes over the last 15 years. It always starts with major anxiety and insomnia then I go into depression. This last time, which is now, something clicked and I knew it is more than just depression. I’ve had what my dr describes as rapid cycling and suggested I prob have bipolar 2. It is in my family (mother had it) and when I investigated hypo mania I got that too. You wouldn’t know I was hypo manic but looking back it makes sense. It just feels a very lonely journey. I’m yet to be formally diagnosed by my new psych as I’ve had to wait 3 mths to see her. Going onto meds is tough! I’m not yet stable, I’m exhausted all the time, have periods where I feel “normal” but most of the time it’s just ugh. I’m guess I’m just looking for support

  5. velvetfaerie
    velvetfaerie avatar
    2672 posts
    15 January 2020 in reply to Chee70

    Hi Chee. This is the best corner of the internet for support with this subject. All these people are wonderful. It is, in a strange way, to find solace in familiarity.

    Your words ring true for me. Very much so.

    Been having a rough time myself last couple of weeks. When I end up in the anxiety/depression/sleep fail/exhausted stage my immune system fails. And it has. People pushed and pushed and pushed. I broke again.

    I had to have an urgent procedure done under local anaesthetic yesterday so as to prevent another round of sepsis. The dr did the right thing even though it now hurts like the sharpest, burning stabby stabby. But, it has likely saved me from another hospital admission. I need a 9 visits, get the 10th free card !

    The research suggests that many MH concerns are of a hereditary nature. Mine came down my dads side I believe. All prompted by PTSD I believe. I could totally be wrong. Can't miss the signs though.

    Anyway Chee, welcome to our quirky, off the wall corner of the internet. We are full of empathy, understanding and we also like to have a giggle every now and again.

    I better get onto my work.

    V.

  6. quirkywords
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    6073 posts
    15 January 2020 in reply to Chee70

    chee

    Welcome this is right place for support. I am, in a hurry now will write more later.

  7. quirkywords
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    16 January 2020 in reply to quirkywords

    Chee,

    It took me 16 years to stop being in denial and to take medication.

    It is a journey not a destination.hang in there you are well worth the effort.

    Quirky

  8. velvetfaerie
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    2672 posts
    17 January 2020 in reply to quirkywords

    This. Plus, the journey is a road with a few bumps. We all have a few bumps on the way. Potholes. Sink holes. HAHA

    V.

  9. quirkywords
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    18 January 2020 in reply to velvetfaerie

    Hello everyone,

    I am learning about coping with stress,

    anyone have ideas,

    I never thought this would happen to me. Why not me.?

    the worst thing is lying wake at 2am and feeling lonely.

    quirky

  10. velvetfaerie
    velvetfaerie avatar
    2672 posts
    19 January 2020 in reply to quirkywords
    I have been losing myself in books, and exercising when I've been physically able. But that's me.

    *hug*
  11. Airies
    Airies avatar
    589 posts
    19 January 2020 in reply to velvetfaerie

    Chee,

    welcome aboard. We are a supportive understanding lot who get one another. I too go on moments of thinking I will come off meds and be ok, yet over a period of time it's taken numerous psychs, tweaks to meds to get it right. I realistically can't go off them. So be it , I accept that. Quirky as you know excercise, proper nutrition and adequate rest work for me. It's something that happening less and less.

    January is off for me and February. Another lign in the sand and then hit the ground running. I've strained my Achilles or tendinitis , bloody annoying as I can't ride, walked yesterday and hobbled back. Some days good, some days not so. Years ago I'd run through such an injury.

    Quirky, it sounds like you've been through a lot. You are so going here and I hope you have a supportive family. Words don't really suffice do they? We are here for you and I hope the resources, support networks, governments and local agencies xpediate things and start to make inroads in rebuilding areas affected. Try and be kind you yourself through it all . A hug across the Internet .

    Airies

  12. quirkywords
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    20 January 2020 in reply to Airies

    Aries

    thanks for your kind words. I am supported by family and friends.

    here are so many like me who are trying to get on with their lives,

    think patience is required with people because you have know idea of what they have suffered.

    Thinking of anyone struggling for whatever reason. Pleas ask for help.

    Quirky

  13. white knight
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    6963 posts
    20 January 2020 in reply to quirkywords

    Hi Quirky,

    Anyone like me that has been a little quiet in responding might feel totally inadequate with how to help.

    Stress through trauma. Like many people I've had to learn how to deal with trauma- my brother and uncles suicide, discarding my very toxic mother and moving on from riots and unspeakable events in a jail as a prison officer that was 42 years ago, still haunts me.

    I've learned with my bipolar to keep reminding myself that if I have a rough day, tomorrow is a new day (as they said in "gone with the wind". Or the next. Even one year ahead will be better than now, in your case there will be developments in your lives that will improve things. This period is the toughest time so it can only get better.

    Re: " like me who are trying to get on with their lives" Even while you are suffering you want to acknowledge other people's struggles. You are an incredibly wonderful caring and empathetic human being Quirky. You are amazing and lovely and I'm sure anyone who has spoken to you for merely 5 minutes will know that.

    I think about my last week of my first marriage in 1996 after 11 years of emotional abuse. I worked 3 jobs, one of which was shift work so my wife could stay at home with our kids. She was lazy and I also changed nappies more than her, cooked meals if I wanted to eat and the emotional abuse was extreme. As an example I left in the dark and arrived home in the dark. That included 3 hours travel to Melbourne return. My old car needed tuning so I got home and asked her what was for dinner. "what do you want" she asked ..""anything darl, I've got to tune the car". 45 minutes later I returned indoors "where's dinner" I asked..."she said "I asked you what you wanted, I didnt say I was going to cook it". Homemaking was her job!

    Yes, I tried suicide but recalled my dad always reminding me "better to be a part time dad than no dad at all" rang in my mind. I left the family home, leaving my young children with their mum. 40yo and shattered.

    The first 3 months or so I was lost. Then saw a block of land and built my own house. My marriage settlement was my garage I'd built, and she would get the 100yo house and the mortgage.

    When I completed my home my kids had a ball in their new bedroom with fairy doonas and curtains. They told their mum. A week later I got a letter from child support - it included a letter from my ex wife saying "he has a new home and I have a 100yo home...I deserve more child support" Her request was refused.

    Never give up

    TonyWK

    1 person found this helpful
  14. velvetfaerie
    velvetfaerie avatar
    2672 posts
    20 January 2020 in reply to white knight

    Never give up. Agreed. I have been quiet because I don't know what to say. And, I am not often lost for words.

    I hope everyone affected over there is OK. As OK as they can be. The pulling together of people is amazing. The support the communities are giving each other is very nice to see in a world full of shallow, selfish, entitled, fake people. Puts things into perspective.

    Tony's story reminds me of my man things story. These men won their freedom. At a cost. But, having better mental health is priceless.

    I want cheesecake.

    V.

    1 person found this helpful
  15. Airies
    Airies avatar
    589 posts
    21 January 2020 in reply to velvetfaerie

    Pass on the cheese cake. Each to their own, love a pav, sponge. Last night shared donuts, magnums and bullets. I have a problem with food. Hope these fires are out soon. Not front page news. At least it appears like the insurance agencies are getting their act together in regards to fires and flood damage. No quick fix. Never give up I agree as well. It's tough. We who are not affected have no idea.can only emphasise. V there are some nice cheesecakes out there,

    cheers

  16. velvetfaerie
    velvetfaerie avatar
    2672 posts
    21 January 2020 in reply to Airies

    I had some new york cheese cake. I love bullets. NOMNOM.

    The Canberra hail storm looks crazy. We had one similar here in March 2010. I remember that day. OH boy. I managed to high tail it out of work early and stay just in front of the storm. It destroyed a lot of stuff at work. I hope the birds will be OK. That's my first thought and i get so upset over it. Not very nice :(

  17. LaTeRaLuS777
    LaTeRaLuS777 avatar
    21 posts
    22 January 2020 in reply to Chee70

    Hi All, Hi Chee,

    Its tough starting medication but it does get better and when it does the cycles dont seem so rough. Im really glad you have found the support of a good doctor and all of us here! Hang in there and keep us updated with all the ups and downs.

    Quick update on my situation: doing good. Work is getting better after my complete loss of self-confidence last few weeks (for no reason). I am struggling with the concept of the fires also, it seems so massive and devasting to so many people. I tend to live in a bit of a bubble to protect myself from crashing in despair and anger. This is something to work on i guess.

    Anyway all the best to everyone and have a safe and happy long weekend.

    L7

  18. Airies
    Airies avatar
    589 posts
    22 January 2020 in reply to LaTeRaLuS777

    Hi All,

    pooped. Just back from a musical.struggled to stay awake after intermission. Early mornings and the big smoke, crowds, I find taxing. Glad to get home and chill.

    im on oodles of meds. So be it . Without it I'd hate to think. Day of housework tomorow and not a happy Chappy. Achilles heel is still giving me the pips. No excercise :(

    cheers

  19. quirkywords
    Community Champion
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    6073 posts
    23 January 2020 in reply to white knight

    Thanks everyone,

    as I said before I know many are struggling and have struggled and I am not unique.

    thanks tony for your helpful words born of your experiences.

    i feel for me it is not about never giving up I don’t know where to start but in the real world everyone has advice.

    i am fortunate to have support and I am here for others.

    Aries, I know what you mean about the city and I will be here for a while.

    quirky

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