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Forums / Staying well / Three self-care things you did today!

Topic: Three self-care things you did today!

  1. ecomama
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    3 December 2020 in reply to Blue's Clues

    HI everyone!

    Regardless of what self-care we did or didn't do... YOU'RE ALL AWESOME!

    I just got some very sad news, so sad. My friend's mum passed away, I've known her since I was 9yo, the mum and dad took me overseas as a teenager with my friend too... just a lot of love for me, as mad as that family was and is lol... so I have a funeral to attend next week. There's more but it's too much to write.

    So yes.
    Lots of self-care needed here as I have SO MANY beautiful memories. Fun, silly, crazy. I;m really sad right now.

    Thankyou all for being here.

    Sleepy, I copped a stigmatising rant from a friend last week and I was taken aback by it.
    She blamed me for what happened to Yvette.

    Sleeps, you and I are deeper and stronger than that. Huge hugs, I know how much it hurts.
    But I wouldn't want you to be any other way than your beautiful self that I know and love.
    I have a specific finger for those people.
    "Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind".
    Dr Seuss

    Yes Not_Batman lol even Thai people LOVE chocolate cake!!
    It was my eldest daughter's birthday dinner. I bought UNICORN candles for her cake! lol.
    LOVE THE PAINTED nails lol!

    You're powering through Blue, so happy you're here.

    My self-care needs to increase a lot my Counsellor said today, this was before I found out about my friend's mum...
    Today I was happily without a car:
    * I stayed in my pyjamas all day, had to change them because I started gardening and the first lot got grotty lol
    * accepted a take away breakfast
    * had Thai leftovers for dinner
    * watched lots of MAN DOWN lolololololol
    * did lots of house mama stuff like moving indoor plants, began emptying wardrobe number 4 (found another 4 rolls of Christmas wrapping paper lol), packing my car with stuff for Charity
    * setting up a Christmas present wrapping station because it gets MESSY with all the kids wrapping presents now too!
    * did exposure therapy to alleviate my nightmares.

    Yes I consider these all self-care because I felt better for doing them.
    Not that my Counsellor agrees! lol.

    Love EM.

    4 people found this helpful
  2. Blue's Clues
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    4 December 2020 in reply to ecomama

    PinkFeather, I think you've nailed self care, your nature day sounds lovely.

    No worries, Sleepy. I won't advocate for a favourite frozen dessert - I'm a foodie, I love so many things!

    Thanks for the kind words, EM. Self care is definitely needed in the wake of your sad news, and the crap things your friend said to you. You've done really well with that whole list (most definitely including the minimising, haha), counsellors aren't always right! Have tried to put a pic of my nails up, but it hasn't come through yet.

    Failing a bit with self care today, my little family have all been needing a lot of my attention which means ol' Blue being very inactive when she wants to be active. Of course I want to be there for my man and my birds. I also really want to get stuck into some work! They all say no. :/

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  3. Sleepy21
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    4 December 2020

    - a portugeuse tart with berries - quite a situation lol. Yum

    - was truthful about my experience gettng help for work - didn't sugarcoat it and let it be what it was (bad)

    - will try have a hot drink

    3 people found this helpful
  4. ecomama
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    4 December 2020 in reply to PinkFeather

    Hi PinkFeather!

    PinkFeather said:
    "
    Hello ecomama, I loved your warm welcome and thanks so much for this thread. It's such a lovely way to get to know you all and to nail in some positive vibes. Big hugs to everyone else too, thank you for sharing."

    TOTALLY OUR PLEASURE I'm sure. It's SO GOOD to have you here!
    I thought you were going to put a quip in about the "nails" lol!
    Because even our Not_Batman who really IS Batman has had his nails painted.

    "Today was good, not one anxiety attack!"

    WOOHOO! What a GREAT day that is lol.

    "Tended to my animals and took the time to absorb their contented sounds as they ate. I did that! Made other beings feel safe and cared for."

    Awww so sweeet!
    You'd be right at home in Grandy's animal thread lol.

    "Weeded my veggie patch."

    NOT that I want you out of HERE but you'd be at home in my Who else likes gardening? thread lol!!! That one's FULL of people loving to grow stuff.

    "I must always remember it is nature that soothes my soul in the dark times."

    Such a powerful thing to remember.
    I'm so glad you can acknowledge the power of healing in nature.
    It was my garden that healed my depression years ago.
    So soothing for the soul.

    And a belated VERY warm welcome to you!

    Love EM

    3 people found this helpful
  5. ecomama
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    4 December 2020 in reply to Sleepy21

    Cheeses Sleepy you're making me quite envious! lol.

    A "tart situation" I could appreciate right about now lol.

    LOVE YOUR WORK!!!!
    Truly amazing Sleeps.

    Onwards and UPwards!

    Lol I forgot to list, ahem, my version self-care.

    Today I:
    * bought a fresh blueberry, pineapple and orange juice at the shopping centre today. YUM!

    * visited my friend T who lost her mum this week and we looked at gorgeous photos of her as a child and had a little cry.

    * drank LOTS of water.

    * made up with my son's gf immediately when they got here. She seems REALLY happy and relaxed again now, so that's awesome. This is a very important relationship to me.

    * delegated a task which worked out well (for a change lol!).

    * came onto BB forums, obviously, which is definitely time for me and touching base with my treasured BB family.

    EMxxxx

    4 people found this helpful
  6. PinkFeather
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    4 December 2020
    Thank you again ecomama, I feel your warmth and feel special for your consideration of my post. Your thoughtfulness has touched another soul, I hope this knowledge touches you back.

    I feel like I am at somewhat at a precipice in life, decisions made now will have far reaching effects, so I find myself in a state of statis. This is ok. Sometimes it is the right not to act, but for the first time I am aware of it, and I cannot explain the relief this has given my mind for maybe the first time in my life (I am 50's). So this is where I'm at...now for my 3 lovely things:

    1. Understanding that non-action is sometimes the right action. I heard the mouse-wheel creaking to a stop over this.
    2. Had an afternoon sleep while listening to an audio-book, unfortunately the quest to find something along the lines of guided-meditation led to frustration, so instead said to myself "truck it, I just want some great story telling", so found one of my favourite authors and let the magic of well crafted words carry me away.
    3. Made a great tea for my husband and shared a glass of wine and tv show before retiring to "my room" which was once just a spare room. It's been two weeks now but perhaps we have a way forward in friendship.
    4 people found this helpful
  7. ecomama
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    4 December 2020 in reply to PinkFeather

    Dear PinkFeather, you're most welcome. Hugs.

    I intuited half way through your 2nd post what seemed to be confirmed towards the end of it.

    You spoke in the way I felt a number of years ago.

    Hopefully you never have to endure what I've had to moving forward from that point.

    I'm a bit older than you.

    You are ALWAYS welcome to share whatever you want to or need to share right here and without any mention of self-care either lol.

    I'm not sure if you've done so already or even if you would care to do this, you are always welcome to begin a thread of your own so that others may give more specific support and understanding, NOT saying we wouldn't do so here either lovely self-care peeps!!!
    I'm sure we all would.

    At that point back then after 2 weeks, I went and watered every single plant and tree that I'd ever planted and even those I inherited with the property.... I cried so hard and apologised to each one, saying that I wanted to stay but I would Pray for the next custodians to love them just as much as I had.
    I thanked them all too.

    After several years (and hellfire) I secured the property in my sole name and the rest is herstory.

    I know this time you're going through. I don't know anything about what you're going through at the same time lol.

    Whatever it is, whatever time of night or day, we are ALWAYS here - someone is always on the forums - so please remember this.

    We're holding your hand on your journey.

    Love EM

    4 people found this helpful
  8. Blue's Clues
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    5 December 2020 in reply to ecomama
    Another failing day. With return to my much hated job imminent the mood is going south and motivation with it. Not doing so well.
    1 person found this helpful
  9. Not_Batman
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    5 December 2020 in reply to Blue's Clues

    Hi blues.

    not good to hear. Whats failing that has you down?
    May help to talk about what you dont like about you job.

    any self care today?

    i made christmas trees out if pallets.

    Not_Batman

    3 people found this helpful
  10. Blue's Clues
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    5 December 2020 in reply to Not_Batman

    Hey Not_Batman,

    Failing at self care today was what I meant. Feeling kind of lost, like my time is now so limited and I don't know how best to use it (which sadly usually results in it getting wasted).

    What don't I like about my job? So much. I work in a supermarket, in the online shopping department (preparing and taking out click and collect orders).

    On a general level, it's promoting meat and junk food, mass produced packaging, rampant consumerism... Ol' Blue is vegetarian, big on healthy eating, environmentalist and minimalist. I'm sure you can see the disparity.

    Further, it's customer service. I have people in my face all day which is hard on an introvert at the best of times, all the more in the midst of a pandemic when both customers and staff are poor at best with social distancing and appropriate hygiene, and I have a partner on immune suppressants after transplant surgery. Just a cold will mess him up, never mind covid.

    Have tried for years to leave the place, a combination of a poor job market and my own mental health have made it impossible. Can't pay the bills on what the dole would be. So yeah, my job is trigger No. 1 for my depression and exhausts me so heavily my self care typically goes out the window in my inability to keep up with everything I need to do and I sorely don't want to be going back.

    Managed one self care thing, wrote up a household job roster, giving my partner a few tasks he can manage in his reduced capacity (as much for his self esteem as for helping me), wrote "self care" as a "job" for both of us on the list every day of the week.

    Nice work with the Christmas trees. :)

    Blue.

    3 people found this helpful
  11. ecomama
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    5 December 2020 in reply to Blue's Clues

    Yes nice work Not_Batman, wish I could buy one from you!
    Ours went this year.

    Dear Blue it's a difficult situation you're in.

    I heard the phone psych AND my Counsellor echo the same thing ie when we're pushed to the limit is exactly WHEN we need more self-care.
    Bit of a dilemma really.

    I'm under the weather after the dentist but it definitely goes on my self-care list today, so ...

    My self-care list, today I:
    * went to the dentist, mad the decision that I'll try for afternoon / evening appts if I can because having to carry on all day in this state is NOT fun lol... at least bed time is nearer if it's a later appt.

    * took some time out in my room

    * spent time with the kids

    * cutt up watermelon, made a nachos dippy thing for us all.

    * GAVE AWAY lots of clothing, swimmers etc to son's GF for her many siblings. She was rapt lol.

    * agreed to a take away dinner tonight since we're all feeling tired or rugged this afternoon

    * put off a call to BF until tomorrow and he was understanding which was nice!

    * lit a scented candle near me

    * will have a bath later on tonight.

    NB: I'm remembering to put on face, hand and body moisturiser most days now, so the automatic self-care thing IS becoming a habit which is ALSO what both Counsellors said.

    Make the most of this moment being the "precious present" and we'll do just fine.

    Love EM

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  12. Not_Batman
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    5 December 2020 in reply to ecomama

    Blue, thank you for allowing me to understand you a bit more.
    wow, customer service...so you are the nice lady i talk to when i order my groceries ;)

    in this world there will always be something that we disagree with, that doesnt align with our values.

    We need to remember to make the best of the situation. Focus on what you can control rather than worry about what you cant.

    As far as the covid rules go, you can enforce the them yourself in order to keep yourself safe. A lot of people will forget their manners, and obligations often, so a level of personal vigilance is needed.

    being an introvert is something im very familiar with. In person, i cant keep a conversation going for more than a few words...pretty awkward.

    well done on the list. Any thing that helps us to remember and keep us to account is good. Sometimes i write myself a not to say “Deep Breath”

    EM, dental care is very import...which reminds me, i should make an appt.

    have a nice relaxing bath!

    i had posted a story yesterday aimed at making you chuckle a little. I had quite the bizarre drive to work. But something caught the moderators attention....oops

    Not_Batman

    5 people found this helpful
  13. Blue's Clues
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    5 December 2020 in reply to Not_Batman

    EM, yeah it's difficult. Counsellors and psychs love saying stuff like that, would be good if they could back it up with the how. Quite a list you've got there, including some healthy habit-forming. Good work.

    No problem, Not_Batman. Ha, nice lady indeed.

    Yeah, there's always something that doesn't align, but being an active part of a company that flies in the face of so many of my values is very much a problem. You sound like my psych re focusing on what I can control. My self care in that area is dropping my hours as much as possible and stepping down as second in charge of my department. I'll just be a pleb when I go back. Not like the pay was any different. As for covid, there's only so vigilant I can be with hundreds of people around me merrily licking their fingers to turn pages and open produce bags, and who get very much in my personal space and too often go as far as touching me if I for a second focus on the job I'm meant to be doing. It just isn't a safe place to work.

    Sounds like we're different kinds of introverts. Do you have friends that can work with comfortable silence? Me, I do quite well with people and socialising but it seriously wears me out even when I'm among people I like. I need a couple of days to myself to recover from social time.

    Thanks. I do think keeping account and having the reminder present is important. I imagine your "deep breath" note comes in handy - funny the things we forget when we are stressed.

    So, I managed some self care after my grumble.

    *Did a major declutter in my partner's office and gave him some tips on keeping it from getting so disorderly in future. It was stressful just to look at the mess and was making him unhappy - if he's happier, he needs less intensive attention and we can both do our own thing a bit more.

    *Fixed the back door handle. Now I can close the back door from outside and it will take less time to get going in the mornings when I'm back at work.

    *Spent some time talking to my partner about both of our concerns and strategising about what we can do to help ourselves and each other.

    2 people found this helpful
  14. ecomama
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    5 December 2020 in reply to Not_Batman

    Lol @ Not_Batman... yeah I do that all the time accidentally.

    I've given members of my family completely different names in my thread but every now and again I get pulled up.

    I've had whole posts gobbled up because CLEARLY I went way off.

    We live and learn lol.

    It's RAINING here now, so happy about that. My tanks will get what they need and the garden will drink it all up. Yay.

    Feeling worse for wear still after the dentist.
    I've never had bone grafts anywhere, but that's happening on Friday. Plus 2 whole extractions lol. omg.
    So if I think I'm sore NOW, well I guess I'll have a different baseline on Friday lol.

    LOTS of self-care required this week.

    I just washed up my hand held vacuum cleaner and thought "Who else would DO this?"
    I often think that when I do or think things.

    All good
    EM

    2 people found this helpful
  15. Sleepy21
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    5 December 2020 in reply to ecomama

    good on u for getting the dentist out of the way... and taking care of urself today EM :) great list

    Well done everyone for keeping positive actions happenin'

    - watched a beautiful movie

    - deliscious chai latte

    - read a book

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  16. ecomama
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    6 December 2020 in reply to Sleepy21

    omg it is THE most glorious day today! Spectacular.

    I'm sitting on my balcony with a cuppa lol and watching the boats enjoy the weather on the bay.

    Prodigal son and gf just left and we had the LOVELIEST time with them!
    Could've gone either way but I'm so grateful we all appreciate each other enough to past some stuff.

    Today I haven't done much self-care because it's still early but... ummm... I've done alot of housework already lol as per...

    * I cooked breakfast for everyone

    * I'm enjoying some time out on the forums on the balcony as above... LOVE this weather! It's so HAPPY!

    * I'm getting through my decluttering bit by bit and it feels really lovely. I fill up garbage bags for certain places / people and label them lol. Then when the boot of my car is full I disperse. Or drop off if I'm passing. THIS process is clearing my house faster (probably more appropriate for the minimalism thread lol).

    * I went through hundreds of receipts last night for my 2 Tax Returns I'll do next year, I had an idea of making this easier so I put it into practice.

    Might be back later..
    love EM

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  17. Not_Batman
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    6 December 2020 in reply to ecomama

    Slept in This fine sunday morning.

    took my AD’s

    made some lego with my son, making a Christmas lounge-room scene.

    played hairdresser with my daughter (my hair looks so pretty now)...she said to me “you hair will looks so amazing, whats let of it” :|

    Did some cleaning in the shed.

    Ate some of mrs not_Batman’s delish cookies.

    Breathed in the cool air and listened to the birds.

    Happy Sunday folks.

    Not_Batman

    2 people found this helpful
  18. ecomama
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    6 December 2020 in reply to Not_Batman

    Happy SUNDAY to you to Not_Batman!

    LOVE YOUR HAIRDO too lol.

    Well it's almost Sunday night and I can't say I've specifically done obvious "self-care".

    Still here we go lol..

    * bought some healthy food to make for lunches this week.

    * got ALL the laundry done which is kinder for my work week - less on my mind.

    * allowed my fiancee to buy both of our Engagement Rings since money is tight at our house atm.

    * am organising and re-organising my very packed week this week so things have a better chance of running smoothly.

    * said NO to my Uncle pressuring me over renos. It's a huge thing me being able to say no to people, so here we go! lol... don't like their reactions. Anyway tough.

    EMxxxx

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  19. Sleepy21
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    6 December 2020

    got some fresh vegi takeaway

    listened to a podcast

    wrote down a few points to discuss with my gp

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  20. monkey_magic
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    7 December 2020 in reply to Sleepy21
    * enquired and will prob book to get my eyebrows microbladed. Won't have to dye or pencil them in again!

    * Decluttered clothes and put a bunch online to sell.

    * Afternoon lap swimming session.

    😁🌊🌟🌈🎊💫
    2 people found this helpful
  21. ecomama
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    7 December 2020 in reply to monkey_magic

    Nice ones Sleepy and monkey!

    My self-care things for today:
    * ate very healthy food I prepped at home last night

    * phoned a friend

    * plan to have a nice relaxing bath tonight.

    Keep on keeping on BB peeps!

    Love EM

    1 person found this helpful
  22. quirkywords
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    7 December 2020 in reply to ecomama

    Volunteered with kind people

    forgave partner for shouting at me

    Bought children’s book from op shop that I used to have

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  23. ecomama
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    8 December 2020 in reply to quirkywords

    Lovely self-care things quirky!

    Today I:
    * wore spandangly jewelry to work lol

    * said YES to some nice hand-me-up clothing from eldest daughter

    * said YES to an impromptu invitation to eldest daughter's house after work for a cuppa... and she had AWESOME news so things are looking UP there yay!

    * phoned a friend who said YES finally to my invitation to visit the beach with me over Summer, she's not said yes to any invitation so far so I'm glad I persisted!

    How are you all doing with SELF-CARE peoples?

    EMxxxx

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  24. Sleepy21
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    8 December 2020 in reply to ecomama

    Hi Monkey - i like the effects of microblading, but have never done it myself- sounds cool tho

    you're all doing amazing self-care

    hi em great work

    That sounds very beautiful to hvae a childhood book, Quirky

    - picked up my package which was something necessary for health, so now have that item

    - ate some protein

    - hung up a towel in my roo m in hope to block out the streetlight tonight, and get better sleep.

    1 person found this helpful
  25. ecomama
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    9 December 2020 in reply to Sleepy21

    Yeah for sure... everyone's smashing this self-care jibe lol.

    Microblading sounds dangerous lol!!

    Hey Sleepy, I have a styrofoam insert that I put in my skylight during Summer, before that I used an old Real Estate sign. Styrofoam works better for the heat too.

    My self-care for today - not much time, too much on today but here we go!

    * ate a homemade fruit salad, I made 3 on Sunday and put them in the work fridge on Monday morning.

    * took an offer to leave work 45 mins early to get stuff done.

    * converted points to dollars to use for my Christmas groceries.

    * delegated chores and errands today and tomorrow bec there wasn't enough time! I have a funeral tomorrow so that had to be done.

    EMxxxx

    1 person found this helpful
  26. quirkywords
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    9 December 2020 in reply to ecomama

    Rested after going to dentist

    started packing my bag for a few days away to see grandchild.

    made myself a fruit smoothie with watermelon and banana and mango yummy,!

    1 person found this helpful
  27. ecomama
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    9 December 2020 in reply to quirkywords

    Oh gosh quirky the dentist... I'm back there again on Friday ughhh.

    Nice that you're seeing the grandbaby soon!!! Love that.

    I've got another couple:

    * bought some healthy food at the nice new supermarket near our house.

    * applied to draw down my Super, which is self-care for me bec it will reduce financial stress with all the unexpected bills.

    * now that I got that out of the way, I'll make a healthy dinner for us all

    * and have a relaxing bath watching something funny.

    * then prep my clothing for tomorrow and schedule tomorrow also.

    I'm really pleased that I did almost every thing on my schedule this week, some more, one less.
    I had to fine tune it all to fit so much in.
    It's really helped with my sleep too! I'm not so anxious about getting things done bec they're done.

    EMxxxx

    1 person found this helpful
  28. TheBigBlue
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    9 December 2020

    Managed some self care today

    1. Washed my hair

    2, Had a video call with a peer support worker (much needed as had been feeling really down)

    3. Cooked & enjoyed one of my favourite meals for dinner. I love a healthy home cooked meal

    1 person found this helpful
  29. Sleepy21
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    9 December 2020

    Hey all

    Quirky hope you enjoyed that rest, well deserved

    EM i do wish I had a bath to relax in, enjoy it! And good on u for the financial management as well as ur other amazing work

    - ate some fresh fruit I'd prepared yesterday

    - Enjoyed some downtime watching a show

    - Went for an awesome walk

    1 person found this helpful
  30. Sleepy21
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    9 December 2020 in reply to TheBigBlue
    Hey BigBlue, Peer support workers are so helpful. I'm glad you felt a bit better after the chat and had a chance to catch up with ur ps worker.
    2 people found this helpful

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