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Forums / Staying well / *Trigger warning* Eating for Health and Wellness

Topic: *Trigger warning* Eating for Health and Wellness

  1. golden82
    golden82 avatar
    392 posts
    2 August 2020 in reply to Sleepy21

    Hi Sleepy,

    Me too - I am up have been shaky, dizzy and confused since about 6pm. Can't settle it which is scary. I never eat on Saturday - and so I think it is low blood sugar. Or could be low bp or anything really. I have had about a mug of full cream milk (which normally I wouldn't have but tried to fix my sugar levels and symptoms - hasn't helped). I phoned a support line and just pray that I wake up in the morning and have promised self to eat a proper dinner tomorrow night. This can't go on - my old eating psychiatrist used to tell me I roll the dice one too many times. I said I am scared and he said obviously not scared enough to change your ways and eat something. He is right. But tomorrow (Sunday) I will have to have a proper dinner - who cares about rules etc - just nourish and look after self. It is a fight I am losing. I hope tomorrow is a better day for you too. Don't worry about the slurpie shop at midnight. Heaps of us do stuff like that..when I got out of hospital one time and it was raining and late at night and I was in pjs and felt like a 30 cent cone so walked 30mins in the rain and dark and in pjs - and McD said they are not 30 cents anymore miss. That was how long since I had been into a McD lol. I hope you enjoyed your slurpie anyway.

    2 people found this helpful
  2. Sophie_M
    Community Moderator
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    Sophie_M avatar
    6152 posts
    2 August 2020 in reply to golden82
    Hi Golden,

    I'm really sorry to hear that things have been hard for you this weekend, and I think it's really strong of you to continue to reach out to others and offer them your support by sharing your own experiences. It's also really strong how you are still finding strategies to cope with it all, whether it is by having a mug of milk to keep your sugar levels up, or by having a 30cent cone when out of the hospital that night. 

    I hope that tomorrow will look a lot better for you as well, and that you will continue to find ways to nourish yourself and care for yourself in whatever ways you can.
    2 people found this helpful
  3. quince
    quince avatar
    104 posts
    2 August 2020 in reply to golden82

    Hey golden,

    This sounds like a really difficult time, and I'm so so sorry you feel like it's a fight you are losing. I really think you can do it, and I hope you find some strength to face the really hard stuff and take care of yourself. Well done for calling a support line too. Keep reaching out and challenging the eating disorder voice.

    Screw the rules and enjoy your dinner (as much as you can). Let us know how you're feeling when you're up to it.

    Sending healing vibes,

    quince. x

    3 people found this helpful
  4. Shelll
    Shelll avatar
    7561 posts
    2 August 2020 in reply to golden82

    Hi Quince. Sleepy, and Golden.

    Are you okay now Golden?

    1 person found this helpful
  5. Shelll
    Shelll avatar
    7561 posts
    2 August 2020

    Food log

    Breakfast... none

    Lunch.... Red and green cabbage, carrot, apple, cos lettuce salad, with a cashew creamy dressing. Roast potatoes. Corn cob

    Dinner.... Lentil and vegetable cottage pie. With green beans, carrot and corn

    Snack... Sultanas, chocolate vitasoy milk, carob coconut ( no refined sugar)

    1 person found this helpful
  6. golden82
    golden82 avatar
    392 posts
    4 August 2020 in reply to Shelll

    Hi Shell, Quince & Sleepy.

    Thanks for your messages. I hope you are all okay. Sleepy i think i read somewhere you wanted a weighted blanket and they have them at Aldi super deals this wed? Shell you are doing awesome as always at nourishing your body with colourful foods. I hope today was a good day for you. Same for you Quince. Did you try butterflies online? I don't call them anymore because like with you .. they panic me and tell me i am medically compromised and should present to emergency or try get me to agree to an ambulance. It makes me worse, when you call for support and get panicked. I failed again to get dinner last night but at least had a soup. And failed today too had an apple. So planning to try have a bowl of cereal for breakfast on wed (can't tomorrow due to fasting bloods). Will hopefully stick it out and actually do it and can let you all know. I am like you Sleepy i go all day nothing and have no energy. Need to fuel in morning - take care everyone MM you too.

    4 people found this helpful
  7. Shelll
    Shelll avatar
    7561 posts
    4 August 2020 in reply to golden82
    You put my heart at ease, posting back Golden. :)
    1 person found this helpful
  8. golden82
    golden82 avatar
    392 posts
    4 August 2020 in reply to Shelll
    You are precious Shell.. remember that :)
    2 people found this helpful
  9. Sleepy21
    Valued Contributor
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    Sleepy21 avatar
    4490 posts
    4 August 2020 in reply to golden82

    hey all

    sounds good golden that you got some soup and are taking care of you

    i like focussing on the small things, not comparing to anyone else's standards. Good on you...

    I am also not getting much food early in the morning have bought cereal and milk - I like to put the cereal in a pretty jar and it was helping me remember to eat.

    I am keen on going to ALDI which is really close to me tomorrow to try and get a weighted blanket, thank you so so much as i've been wanting one!!

    Hope you are all doing okay

    2 people found this helpful
  10. Shelll
    Shelll avatar
    7561 posts
    4 August 2020 in reply to Sleepy21
    Hey Sleepy, I too like pretty jars. I have quite a few large glass ones lined up on the pantry shelf.
    1 person found this helpful
  11. Shelll
    Shelll avatar
    7561 posts
    4 August 2020 in reply to golden82
    :) Golden
    1 person found this helpful
  12. Sleepy21
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    Sleepy21 avatar
    4490 posts
    4 August 2020

    Hi SHelll that sounds really nice, are they different colours?
    I find things a bit more appetising from jars... an enormous jar full of cereal almost seems like a challenge to get through it all - and i feel encouraged to eat breakfast:) My cereal jar is very very big!

    How are you feeling? hope you're doing well

    1 person found this helpful
  13. Shelll
    Shelll avatar
    7561 posts
    4 August 2020 in reply to Sleepy21

    No the jars are glass, some with white lids, some with like preserving type lids. I got those preserving type from IKEA. You can just see all the contents in each jar. Like dried red lentils, pasta, dried fruit etc. I do have a super large one with vitabrits in them.

    I am glad you have a large jar with cereal. If we can see healthy food, and it looks beautiful, it definitely helps. You can sort of eat it with your eyes sort of thing.

    Thanks for asking after me. Kind of you. I have had food issues today. Binging. 👎 I ate practically a whole apple teacake. Like a white bread thing. And a coffee frappe from maccas. Not good choices for me. Both of these.. well my body does not like them. So yeah not good in that regard. I did have a green smoothie though and a colourful cabbage type salad. So that is better.

    You been okay?

  14. golden82
    golden82 avatar
    392 posts
    5 August 2020 in reply to Shelll

    Hi everyone,

    Thanks Sleepy and Shell for those ideas of glass jars for cereal. You are right presentation goes a long way. I tend to get so stressed around eating times that i don't even stop to notice. I make it a v stressful process i have to endure rather than making it a positive one. And i believe our association with the experience can make or break to a degree. So i will try your ideas.

    Shell don't worry about the binge bits. Overall you should be pleased with your choices. And i read you have been walking- which sounds wonderful. Your imagery of your walks is so good. You notice and that is great. I hope to learn that skill. I tend to rush, flipping around in anxiety. Rather than being zen.

    But i went shopping and bought a proper solid meal tues dinner. It was a frozen pasta meal and i had it with a side salad i made. Nothing fancy but i had lettuce i had to use. I was stressed to buy it and kept backing out for soup instead but somehow just did it. I feel yuk now. I know this is something normal ppl do ie eat dinner. But i don't think it is something i want to do. Even though i used to 20yrs ago and longer when growing up. Now i think after 10 years nearly... it seems odd to me. I don't know. I just feel guilty, greedy, fat (i know i shouldn't use that word so sorry if it offends ppl), just yuk and confused. And tired exhausted and stressed. It can be so much calmer . I think maybe i would be better doing the breakfast in a jar. I would prefer that to dinner. It was hard and i will keep being angry at myself unfortunately. I hope everyone had a nice dinner and a better time of it than me. Have a goodnight.

    3 people found this helpful
  15. Shelll
    Shelll avatar
    7561 posts
    5 August 2020 in reply to golden82

    Hi Golden,

    I think it's great you had the desire to take care of yourself my choosing to eat something. Even if you did feel yuck, confused etc. You are loving yourself. I am the opposite I need to keep choosing not too much food mostly the junk kind for myself and by doing so I would be loving myself. Anyway if I could give you a distinction for choosing to love yourself I would.

    The salad is excellent. And you can even make pretty and appetising looking salads in glass jars. Just put a dressing on the bottom and layer colourful veggies, always finishing with lettuce on top ( so it stays nice and crisp) Sleepys cereal idea super good too.

    I understand the "fat" feeling very well. Except I actually do have fat cells on my body. Which are not healthy.

    It must feel a bit foreign for your body to have food in it. If you are so used to having like an empty flat body feeling maybe. So it would feel odd. Maybe you could see it as an adventure Golden. :)

    I just wonder if having like mashed food would be better, like a bit easier on your digestive system. Like mashed potato, mashed pumpkin etc.

    I have water fasted before ( for medical reasons) so your digestive system rests for a while. When coming off a water fast. You introduce foods very slowly to get your body used to solid foods again. I started off with fresh extracted juices. To help add back healthy bacteria ( the good bacteria that helps us to digest foods properly) then small amounts of soft fresh fruit like watermelon, oranges, banana then moved onto fist sized cooked mashed food. Then further on to larger amounts of all plant type foods.

    Just mentioned all that water fasting stuff and the way to introduce foods back in because maybe your digestive system in your body needs a bit of help. Like maybe it has been resting for so long. ( similar to a water fast)

    Just my thoughts there Golden and wondering if it would help you. Like baby steps I guess. Little by little. There are no rules just suggestions.

    Thankyou for your encouraging words to me too. Appreciate it.

    I like this in regards to foods and eating . Everything is permissible but not everything is beneficial. I don't know... it sort of takes all the rules off.

    Much care to you Golden and you did super choosing to love yourself there.

    Shell

    3 people found this helpful
  16. Shelll
    Shelll avatar
    7561 posts
    5 August 2020 in reply to golden82

    Sorry Golden if my last post sounds like a lecture. I read it back to myself, and it sounds like that. Like it doesn't sound warm and friendly. Which is how I desire to be. I care about you and just want the best for you. Wanted you to know that.

    Shelley

    1 person found this helpful
  17. Shelll
    Shelll avatar
    7561 posts
    5 August 2020

    Okay some of my food choices were great, nourishing etc today but other choices not so beneficial for me.

    Breakfast... None

    Lunch... Spelt pasta and vegetable salad with a creamy chili dressing. It had lots of colourful vegetables. Red capsicum, onion, garlic, thinly sliced broccoli stems, carrot, raw purple cabbage and green cabbage and baby spinach. It had lots of texture and felt good in my mouth. Crunchy cabbage so yum

    Iced chocolate.... Soy milk, tahini, cocoa, maple syrup, crushed ice

    Passionfruit

    Dinner... Small size of hot chips. Green grapes.

    Snack.. Chocolate 180gram block plus a time out one.

    Feel regretful again about the junk food and I am sick of eating it. I also feel fear in regards to it eating it. Hopeful about tomorrow though as it will be a brand new day. Brand new with no mistakes in it.

  18. golden82
    golden82 avatar
    392 posts
    6 August 2020 in reply to Shelll

    Hi Shell - not a lecture at all :)..

    - it is very caring and supportive info and ideas I always get from you, Sleepy, Quince & MM. So thank you all. I am going to buy a jar for some cereal on the weekend - love that idea.

    I felt very full from my pasta dinner Tues night (even though I bought the smallest size) - had an apt at the eating clinic Wed and so tried again for a pasta dinner last night (same sort of size) and had with salad - feeling full still now. I prefer your ideas of the mashed potato and things like that - it is common sense and I should have done that. But as I said to my Dr at the eating clinic I guess I needed to try to realize that dinner is not really for me. I would rather be a morning person and make a nice bowl (jar) of cereal and then stick with the soups or the mashed veggie etc suggestions you have provided.

    Your meals are balanced - try not to be so hard on yourself. You get so much colour and variety of salad/veg. And omg your iced chocolate sounds AMAZING! I was wondering if you have a favourite chocolate bar? If you do, or one that gives you memories or comfort the most eg if it is that Time Out bar then to include one everyday as part of your self care ritual. And that way it is the comfort you are seeking, the yummy taste - so treating yourself, taking the time to sit and enjoy/savour, and then allow it everyday eg same time - so you know and are less likely to have more etc. For me, I like mint - so it would be a something like that I would choose. I hope you have a nice day today. It is ice cold in Adelaide today and tomorrow is going to be 10 degrees max. So I am under blankets thinking of you out on one of your lovely walks - enjoy. I am guessing your weather is warmer than here?

    I hope today is a nice day for you all - best wishes :)

    6 people found this helpful
  19. Sleepy21
    Valued Contributor
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    Sleepy21 avatar
    4490 posts
    6 August 2020

    Hi Golden,

    the pasta dinner sounds yum. I make it a lot at home now and first roast some veg which i then work through it - good on you for having that serve. This is a hard time with the cold, isn't it?
    I have not been eating very well, and my apartment is a mess. Feeling very low energy. I have some really yum soup which I hope to heat up soon, and might roast some vegies.

    I'm so glad Golden that you feel supported on the forums, I enjoy reading your posts and contributions

    3 people found this helpful
  20. Shelll
    Shelll avatar
    7561 posts
    6 August 2020
    Not feeling too good today. Know it is from the previous junk binging episodes Have not eaten any junk today though.
    1 person found this helpful
  21. Sleepy21
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    Sleepy21 avatar
    4490 posts
    6 August 2020

    Hi Shelll, i feel you. I have also been eating tonnes of chocolate.
    How are you feeling emotionally atm?
    Its such an up and down time

    2 people found this helpful
  22. monkey_magic
    Valued Contributor
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    4092 posts
    6 August 2020 in reply to golden82
    And thankyou Golden82, you've been very supportive yourself despite all that you go through each and every day!

    Right now I'm tucking into potato wedges with sweet chilli sauce and sour cream. I've also satisfied my chocolate and cake craving with zero guilt.

    I've been having huge salads lately with a beautiful dressing...it makes so much difference and I want to eat the salad. Loving them ATM.
    4 people found this helpful
  23. Sleepy21
    Valued Contributor
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    Sleepy21 avatar
    4490 posts
    6 August 2020
    Yum - a good dressing can be so enticing and flavour-giving. Glad you enjoyed some chocolates and cakes, too. I've managed to have some soup and hot chocolate today, and a lot of walnuts.
    4 people found this helpful
  24. Shelll
    Shelll avatar
    7561 posts
    7 August 2020 in reply to monkey_magic

    Hey MM, your post sounds very happy. 😊

    That is super about you eating huge salads. Having a delicious dressing does make a difference. I struggle to eat some plain vegetables in salads otherwise.

  25. Shelll
    Shelll avatar
    7561 posts
    7 August 2020 in reply to golden82

    Hope you get some kind of jar for your cereal Golden. I also have one full of oats. I made some warm porridge this morning. And put some tinned peaches on it.

    Yeah pasta seems to just sit in my tummy, feels a bit like lead. Maybe your body reacts the same Golden.

    This person you see at the eating clinic is that like a therapist or dietitian?

    You said you like mint. I do as well. Fresh mint is delicious in some juices and smoothies. I did go through a stage where I ate choc mint patties, and this mint aero bar. I am hoping to get into making some more kinds of healthier chocolate concoctions. And yes that chocolate shake thing I drink tastes pretty good. And it does not make me feel sick.

    That is good some things we are saying helps you. You also help me by hearing my voice even.

    You do sound nice and cozy with your blanket there.

  26. Shelll
    Shelll avatar
    7561 posts
    7 August 2020 in reply to Sleepy21

    Hey, how you going Sleepy?

    Are you still getting your organic boxes delivered or was that a one of thing that time?

    Emotionally yeah up and down for me lately as well. I would rather be nice and even and calm.

    I do feel a little calmer today. No sugar high or anything. Which feels so much better. No sick feeling like the other day. Currently I am sipping on a warm raspberry leaf tea. And decided to have porridge for breakfast.

    I am feeling a bit of sadness with some things that are happening in my life. I feel so much for someone that I love in my life that is going through a very difficult and emotional time. Actually that is one of the reasons I no longer visit many threads on BB. Some things that are said just break my heart. I cannot or don't know how to deal with this on my side as yet.

  27. Shelll
    Shelll avatar
    7561 posts
    7 August 2020 in reply to Shelll
    I had porridge for breakfast but not nourishing or beneficial choices of food after that. Just feel like I let myself down once again.
  28. Ggrand
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Ggrand avatar
    9365 posts
    8 August 2020 in reply to Shelll

    Hello Lovely Shelly and everyone..

    Shelly Please dear friend don’t be to hard on yourself, you try so hard to eat the right things and that’s all you can do...

    I love porridge and have it most days for breakfast..I’ve even had it for dinner when I couldn’t be bothered cooking...it’s healthy and filling...I make mine with water and add a bit of milk and fruit before eating it...

    I have some mint growing on my front veranda next to my bedroom window..I like the scent of it as the breeze lets it drift into my bedroom...I often break of a few leaves and put it into a cup of boiling water and sip on it..Its good for our digestion...

    Im sorry to hear about someone that you love in your life is going through a very difficult and emotional time...I wish them well.....

    Dear Shelly, please look after yourself and if your not up to posting on other threads..that’s okay...I agree that some things that are said on different threads are heartbreaking...The most important thing for you to do Shelly is to be very gentle and kind to yourself and to take care of you and your beautiful soul...

    Kind and caring thoughts with my love and hugs..

    Grandy.l

    1 person found this helpful
  29. Shelll
    Shelll avatar
    7561 posts
    8 August 2020 in reply to Ggrand

    Ah Thankyou for your kindness Grandy.

    Shell

  30. Shelll
    Shelll avatar
    7561 posts
    9 August 2020 in reply to Shelll

    Clap.. Clap.. Clap no junk today.

    Breakfast.. Mandarines

    Lunch.. Lentil and vegetable soup

    Dinner.. Roasted potatoes, and other vegetables

    Snack... Ice chocolate no refined sugar

    2 people found this helpful

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