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Forums / Staying well / Vent and then let it go...

Topic: Vent and then let it go...

  1. mmMekitty
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    mmMekitty avatar
    969 posts
    2 October 2021

    If ever I lived with anyone ever again they MUST be a computer expert, and, as a bonus, also be a phone tech expert too.

    IN return, they would not hear me going off about these when they do not work properly - 'cause they can come and fix QUICK!

    1 person found this helpful
  2. Doolhof
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    Doolhof avatar
    8755 posts
    5 October 2021 in reply to mmMekitty

    hi mmMekitty,

    When you find that person, can you send them to my place, along with a handyman and electrician!

    It frustrates me when things don't work, when I don't know how to fix them and when someone wants hundred's of dollars to just look at a problem, let alone fix it, as live out bush.

    Last week we had official notice a major trucking route would be constructed right out the front of our home. I don't cope with noise all that well.

    I'm not having my work issues listened to or attended to.

    Both my husband and I are struggling with our depression, a couple of thunderclouds in one house tend to block out any possible light and joy.

    I know I have a lot to be thankful for, a break from depression and hassles would be nice.

    1 person found this helpful
  3. Shelll
    Shelll avatar
    7375 posts
    5 October 2021

    Sometimes I just don't want to be here. If I keep overthinking things then I see no purpose for my life. It makes no sense to me. Why can't I just get on with living instead of thinking so very deep about things. My brain just won't quit sometimes.

  4. ecomama
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    ecomama avatar
    4567 posts
    5 October 2021 in reply to Doolhof

    After that person's been to yours Dools, send him over to mine lol... what a mess of half finished EVERYTHING I have here omg. Grrr.

    Not so angry any more, thank goodness, about some horrible things my neighbour said to me yesterday. She's totally lost the plot and got so abusive and angry, I'm like WHY? and then why at ME?

    Don't like that when we've only ever been helpful and loving to a person, they feel entitled to be abusive.
    So NO CONTACT for her.
    Loving my boundaries lol.

    Bit shocked about a few situations at work. Now I'm feeling more positive about doing more on site days sooner, I need to get in there more and help more too.

    Pretty sick of the state of things in my house SO I got busy today and leaf blew downstairs lol. The vacuum kept getting blocked and it was driving me nuts so the leaf blower worked a treat lol!!
    Thinking of using my leaf blower for my loungeroom next, all the dust gets all in my hair and all over my clothes but for some reason it feels GOOD to get dirty and then wash it all off.

    Like I've done a really hard day's work or something IDK.

    Next venter....

    Love EMxxxx

  5. gucia6
    gucia6 avatar
    84 posts
    6 October 2021 in reply to ecomama

    so, Hubby is staying at home with kids this school holidays. So I think, great, I don't need to worry about anything.

    But then I come back home to a chaos. I do not have OCD, but I do like when there is a pleasant (relative) order. I mean it was not too bad. They did cook, made and fold the laundry, went shopping and all. But things were everywhere. Not put back in the shelves, empty shopping bag just sitting there on the table, crumbs from lunch on the table, kids rooms a mess.

    It really made me upset, that I come back from work and need to tidy the common living area before I can actually put record on and sit and relax while they were away.

    Grrr...

    I really am trying not to be too demanding, and a bit of a 'normal' daily mess is OK, but there is a limit of the messiness, and hubby doesn't seem to get it.

  6. Shelll
    Shelll avatar
    7375 posts
    7 October 2021

    Felt encouraged by this:

    4 things you should let go of

    ~Worrying about the future

    ~Holding on to grudges

    ~Comparing yourself to other people

    ~Other people's opinions of you

    3 people found this helpful
  7. missep123
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    missep123 avatar
    845 posts
    7 October 2021 in reply to Shelll

    HI Shelll,

    I really related to what you posted.

    I am a chronic worrier of the future, comparing myself to others and focusing on other people's opinions of me.

    I think it is getting better through time!

    1 person found this helpful
  8. Harpbird
    Harpbird avatar
    350 posts
    9 October 2021
    I am totally over so called best friends saying hurtful things. They open there mouths before thinking. Then in the next breath they say what they think because they care.
    well I would rather they not care
  9. Sleepy21
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    4159 posts
    9 October 2021 in reply to Harpbird
    Sad that I'm not where I should be. Sad that I was not properly diagnosed earlier, that the drs I saw focussed on exterior factors like my youth or nice cloths and such didn't believe me. And I didn't have the energy to argue and get properly helped. They didn't give me the help I need amd I missed put on valuable treatment and was given dangerously wrong meds and therapy.
  10. randomx
    randomx avatar
    2767 posts
    9 October 2021 in reply to Sleepy21

    Hiya sleepy , l hope your ok atm with things there.

    Once my doctor said to me , for all the same reasons , you look fine to me.

    l was that disgusted with it and is total lack of . l left the building thinking , just wth. l look fine to him. Wth hell has the exterior got to do with anything what sort of a doctor could be silly enough to take any notice of that, how could any doctor possibly not know that means absolutely nothing. And l've had it from doctors since too.

    rx

    2 people found this helpful
  11. Doolhof
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    Doolhof avatar
    8755 posts
    11 October 2021 in reply to randomx

    Tired of verbal abuse at work.

    Tired of feeling ignored until someone feels they have the right to tromp on me.

    Need to stand up more for myself. Have my needs met.

    3 people found this helpful
  12. Guest9337
    Guest9337 avatar
    1001 posts
    11 October 2021 in reply to randomx
    randomx said:

    Hiya sleepy , l hope your ok atm with things there.

    Once my doctor said to me , for all the same reasons , you look fine to me.

    l was that disgusted with it and is total lack of . l left the building thinking , just wth. l look fine to him. Wth hell has the exterior got to do with anything what sort of a doctor could be silly enough to take any notice of that, how could any doctor possibly not know that means absolutely nothing. And l've had it from doctors since too.

    rx

    the doctors make their observations with eyes, ears, touch, smell. They cannot see your feelings unless you show them openly.

    If you are confused, see if you can say it.

    If you are unhappy, see if you can say it.

    If you are afraid or anxious, speak it up, share it with the doctors, tell them your emotions that they cannot see.

    1 person found this helpful
  13. Sleepy21
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    Sleepy21 avatar
    4159 posts
    11 October 2021 in reply to Guest9337

    Thanks rx. Good to vent and be heard. Sorry u have seen also what some doctors are like!

    1 person found this helpful
  14. Guest9337
    Guest9337 avatar
    1001 posts
    11 October 2021 in reply to Sleepy21

    After i was sexually assaulted by criminals in 2016 i developed an even more lack of comfort with things covering my mouth.

    I have just been persecuted by staff at a shop for not wearing a mask, yet still complying with all their rules and the legality. And apparently just my tone of voice is enough for them to rebuke me and threaten to throw me out of the shop.

    Apparently i am so required to be so perfect that even saying polite things, needs a particular tone of voice for those customer service officers who refused to even treat me with respect as a survivor of sexual assault

    Perhaps I should just put a big sign on my head: Hi i was sexually assaulted, would you mind if I don't wear a mask please?

    1 person found this helpful
  15. Sophie_M
    Community Moderator
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    Sophie_M avatar
    5934 posts
    11 October 2021 in reply to Guest9337
    Hi david'n'goliath,

    We are really sorry to hear how hard it has been for you feeling such a lack of understanding of your mental health and trauma in regards to the current mask requirements. It must be incredibly difficult for you. We strongly urge you to speak to one of the counsellors at 1800 Respect about these feelings so they can help support you. They are available by phone 24/7 on 1800 737 732.  Additonally, If you would like to talk to someone at theBeyond Blue Support Service is available 24/7 by phone on 1300 22 4636 or on Webchat 1pm-12am AEST on our website: www.beyondblue.org.au/getsupport  One of our friendly counsellors will be able to talk through these feelings with you and can offer support, advice and referrals.

     
  16. Guest9337
    Guest9337 avatar
    1001 posts
    11 October 2021 in reply to Sophie_M

    Thank you for the strong urging, I have already today conversed with 1800respect.

  17. white knight
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    white knight avatar
    9214 posts
    11 October 2021 in reply to Doolhof

    Hi Dools, lovely to read one of your posts

    I've often wondered why some of us are stood over, abused and bullied yet some are not. Are we magents for this? Sadly I think so. The animal kingdom has a nature all of itself, the strongest survive and we humans are no different.

    So what is required of us to "stand our ground"? Firstly, seek clarification then if their intent is to bully us we try "fighting back" but we run the risk of being in error and then finding out that we messed up, that we misunderstood what they meant and we interpreted it as being aggressive or bullying. Well- we should then apologise and accept that apologizing is normal - its normal for us to make mistakes. Better to assume they are trying to impose themselves upon us than be a victim.

    The most important thing is- if a behaviour is not within our nature then we will find that behaviour impossible to perfect and maintain. If fighting back against anybody is not within us then dont expect that defense to be easy nor long term.

    So having said that, if you know this then what are the options? Well, there is avoidance in some situations. A person in your town is toxic you pass by on the other side of the road right? Same with the workplace, same with family.

    Use the telephone. Better sometimes to confront others by a phone call than face to face. This is because their intimidation is weakened as you have the ability to terminate the call if they become a bully. It also allows you to put your point across with less interuptions.

    I hope that helps

    TonyWK

    1 person found this helpful
  18. randomx
    randomx avatar
    2767 posts
    11 October 2021 in reply to white knight

    Those types pick up anxiety and mental blocks. People with some empathy and soul will notice it and allow , they'll ease back on you giving you time and understanding. But the other type will see it as a weakness they can pounce on often underhandedly and shrouded, they'll even notice it in your tone or hesitation if it's wavering in the slightest, whenever they're feeling a bit of colour.

    l noticed it a lot with different types of people myself back in growing up and younger days , even some family. lt was around 30 when l realized that unfortunately l can't be shy with these people , even if l am , don't show it. And sadly even if it's faking it,it really pays off calling on the strength to keep your tone or any hesitations, wavering, strong, or they'll pick it up. lt doesn't have to mean being loud or something your not , more so for me it was actually staying strong at times like that , about who l am if anything.

    lt seems if they know they matter to you , or they can come out with something that will matter to you , effect you , it's their secret weapon. l still get weak moments and blocks these days and those people still pop up in life , but things mostly changed drastically from my 30s and on in that way and thankfully those times are few and far between as l've gotten older now , and still practicing.

    rx

    2 people found this helpful
  19. mmMekitty
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    mmMekitty avatar
    969 posts
    11 October 2021 in reply to Guest9337

    Hi DnG

    You tell of an experience like what I fear the most. Going somewhere without a mask, because I can't tolerate the thing on my face, for similar reasons, and being confronted and bullied by staff members.

    & thinking, I don't want to have to explain why I'm not wearing a mask .I do have the exemption which, while not going into detail, does mention PTSD. I don't want to use it, because I don't want questions. I don't deal with pressure well. Yes, I would use it to go to a doctor's appointment, if a Police Officer requested to see it, or I suppose, if official Security personnel requested it, but not to just anyone. Not in the public area either.

    I am so easily intimidated, I'd cave.

    I like what you said to Randomx

    " the doctors make their observations with eyes, ears, touch, smell. They cannot see your feelings unless you show them openly.
    If you are confused, see if you can say it.
    If you are unhappy, see if you can say it.
    If you are afraid or anxious, speak it up, share it with the doctors, tell them your emotions that they cannot see. "

    Can that apply to everyone? Even if I could remain a little calm, I'm afraid I would crumble and be unable to speak at all.

    All I know is that for some people, spot a 'weakness' = exploit and take advantage. So long as I am dealing with people who have some ethical standards, some compassion, I could say and be understood. Otherwise, I let them get away with their disrespectful way of treating me, & end up leaving the shop/venue/etc, Or not risk it in the first place.

    So far, I avoid the issue. I stay home, even as restrictions are as light as they are in SE Qld, & I don't know what is worse.

    So far, I have not been challenged when I have been out with my helper, & we have had no problems. But maybe that is because my helper is there, with me? I can't answer that until I take a risk & go out alone.

    Me Venting:

    The quandary I feel is doing my head in!

    I hurt for DnG having been hurt!

    I still feel I have a sign on my head! Why can't I remove it?

    I used to go around like nothing could touch me - now everything does.

    &...Those people in US who are once again making abortion illegal under any circumstances struck me hard tonight - What would I have done if I had become pregnant at 13? The lawmakers there have no compassion.

    Do these people who've hurt us ever figure out what they have done, really?

    I wish I would NOT curl up inside myself, & just let go & SCREAM.

    No worries,, Sophie_M, I'm venting.

    mmMekitty

  20. Guest9337
    Guest9337 avatar
    1001 posts
    12 October 2021 in reply to mmMekitty

    hi everyone, just ol' me slinking in again to say, i hope you have forgiven my venting about venting at the wrong people/place/times.

    i felt the boil of furious rage a few days ago and held that all down just long enough to say, "im going for a drive to do something."

    in my car, whilst driving along, i vented quite thoroughly, and hurt my own voice box with the repeated loudness and curses.

    That sore voice box made it much easier to go back, later resettled, into the conflict and be quiet and listen even more, and thus also be inclined to say the optimally perfect sentence for peaceful change into the future.

  21. Doolhof
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    Doolhof avatar
    8755 posts
    12 October 2021 in reply to white knight

    Hi Tony WK and All,

    Thanks for your comments, I appreciate your thoughts and suggestions.

    I'm working in an establishment where masks are mandatory as are flu vaccinations to gain entry. People can provide a Drs letter stating that are unable to wear a mask for what ever reason or unable to have a flu vaccine.

    It is not acceptable for people to stand there yelling and cursing at me because they don't feel the need to wear a mask nor have a flu vaccine, as it is their choice.

    In my work place it is Government legislation for people to follow these rules. I have been threatened with a huge fine if I do not ensure people abide.

    I'm only trying to do my job as are any other workers trying to keep Government legislation. Provide a letter of explanation if you can't wear a mask or be flu vaccinated. Don't take it out on the people trying to do their job. I don't want to cop a fine worth thousands of dollars and loose my job because one person can't provide a letter of explanation.

    My thoughts are with all those who are unable to adhere to present rules and regulations. I hope you can easily secure documentation to cover yourselves. It is a difficult situation for people on both sides.

    1 person found this helpful
  22. Guest9337
    Guest9337 avatar
    1001 posts
    12 October 2021 in reply to Doolhof

    I can't speak for all medical service providers, but the very first time I asked for medical documentation for waiver from the mask I was told that the standard policy was "no".

    Didn't matter that i vomit, feel dizzy, and have been sexually assualted.

    No. Us doctors have been told policy is to not provide that letter is what the young GP told me after I wept just for him to look inside my mouth for a check up.

  23. gucia6
    gucia6 avatar
    84 posts
    12 October 2021 in reply to white knight

    Dear Tony

    You are asking if we are magnets?

    Unfortunately we are. This is the law of the jungle. The stronger eats the weaker. It is in our animal instinct to want to control other being. And it is even more so cruel, that humans use the developed intellect and cognitive abilities to think of ways to do it even more painful. It has been so for centuries, and it will be so in the future, unless people start treating others with respect and as rightful human beings, no matter gender, age, skin colour, beliefs, or whatever else.

    Sorry, I got a bit catastrophic. But when someone is quiet, they become an easy target for bullies, who need to prove their whatever BS (to cover their own insecurities sometimes?). Why not just live and let live?

    Count it as my venting. I am recently so angry and upset around the subject of discrimination, that I just cannot express it with enough words. But I don't want to let it go. I would like to act, do something to make impact and enhance the change. But I don't know how. I know I will not change the world, but for me, the silence encourages the violence. If the wrong-doing is not called out, it will continue.

    1 person found this helpful
  24. Doolhof
    Champion Alumni
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    Doolhof avatar
    8755 posts
    12 October 2021 in reply to Guest9337

    david'n'golith,

    I'm sorry you have experienced hassles with the Dr while trying to gain an exemption from wearing a mask due to your trauma.

    That must make trying to navigate every day life so much harder.

    It would be nice if we could show a little more respect to each other.

    I understand frustrations and anger when we are not in control of a situation. Taking it out on others is not fair. It happens.

    Hope you meet some understanding people along the way as well!

    Regards from Dools

  25. mmMekitty
    Valued Contributor
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    mmMekitty avatar
    969 posts
    15 October 2021

    Lately:

    Frustration, pain, confusion, Tense, jumpy, jittery, sadness like grief, fearful, like I can't contain all this and continue to stand on my own two feet. One moment I am, the next I'm not, then I find a little diversion, and get up again, then something else hits me

    I wonder what's going on?

    I open myself up, to vent these feelings, and I only feel worse.

    I even want to do something to that chirping gecko !

  26. Shelll
    Shelll avatar
    7375 posts
    16 October 2021
    The longing to go home is intense. So deep. An ache for the place I truly belong. I can't do this existence thing. That is not life or living. I know my Father is real and it is Him that I ache for. I have been there if for only a few minutes. Such peace, no striving only rest for my soul and being, no sadness, no heaviness, no confusion, no fights, no misunderstandings, no pain, no aloneness, no hunger or longing. All is perfectly satisfied, all is well. "Remember child you were created to be with me" You are in this world but not off it" How my soul longs for the Living God.
  27. Shelll
    Shelll avatar
    7375 posts
    16 October 2021
    Aching to go. Pain is too much. Turmoil is too much, trouble is too much, evil is too much, heavyness is too much. ITS JUST TO MUCH
  28. Shelll
    Shelll avatar
    7375 posts
    16 October 2021 in reply to Shelll
    Fleeing sensation is here. To get away from the TOO MUCH. But where can I go. Traped in an existence I hate
  29. tranzcrybe
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    tranzcrybe avatar
    619 posts
    16 October 2021
    Cast off your misery, and all your doubt,
    For that which is in, is never without.
    Heed the things you truly know:
    It's better to vent, then let it go!
    1 person found this helpful
  30. mmMekitty
    Valued Contributor
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    mmMekitty avatar
    969 posts
    21 October 2021

    I feel too tired tonight. I'm sorry I can't think clearly enough to even try to answer even a few posts.

    I feel like a different person when I spoke to my PDr today, & so I didn't tell him how I am feeling.

    There's a couple phone calls I didn't make today, so there's a couple questions not yet answered.

    I feel like I don't know what's going on. What did I just read? Whose post was that? Do they want an answer or an ear, or to have a voice of their own & a place to use it? If I wrote anything wrong, I'm sorry. I tried.

    I can't say what I need to be saying.

    My mind is running all over the place.

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