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Forums / Staying well / What the professionals didn't tell you

Topic: What the professionals didn't tell you

6 posts, 0 answered
  1. Tabby Main
    Tabby Main avatar
    3 posts
    27 March 2015

    When you go to the doctor/therapist and they say the answer are breathing techniques and postive thoughts...all you want to do is punch them in the face.

    Well don't worry because that's not true

    How can you breathe and think positive thoughts!? You're in the darkest part of yourself and can't even see yourself in the mirror anymore let alone get out of bed.

    What do they expect? That one magical day you'll wake up and be happy again? Sorry to burst your medically qualified bubble Doc, but that just ain't going to happen.

    Do you want to know the key to handling your depression/anxiety?

    The answer is NOT TO TORURE YOURSELF by forcing yourself into thinking positive thoughts. Or pushing yourself into stressful situations. This DOES NOT HELP! This only makes it worse.

    You need to find out what works for you. Can you remember the things that made you happy? Say surfing? Or photography?

    Start small and work yourself up. AND if you have a bad day. Then take the bad day. Put your feet up on the couch and let your mind and body rest.

    Don't listen to the ones who say to "let it go" and "fight it". They haven't been through your battle and don't understand that you don't actually choose to be this way.

    Just work through it. Day by day and make sure you have 14 hugs a day. Every human needs 14 hugs a day!

    Once you're on your way up the mountain start eating healthy and work on your fitness (just a walk around the block will do). Then start talking to your friends again. BUT REMEMBER, take it slow. You've got time.

    2 people found this helpful
  2. banana split
    banana split avatar
    3 posts
    27 March 2015 in reply to Tabby Main

    "The answer is NOT TO TORURE YOURSELF by forcing yourself into thinking positive thoughts"

     Thank you. Trying to do this in the more difficult times has made me feel worse about myself because I still feel terrible despite counting my blessings, and then I feel terrible + ungrateful. I count the positives in my life, but being very competitive I think of all the people I know who have all those, but also more.

  3. Tabby Main
    Tabby Main avatar
    3 posts
    23 June 2015 in reply to banana split

    AGREED! Each of my dark days are made worse by forcing myself to think thoughts that are positive because they only make me feel guilty for not appreciating what I have, which in turn only makes me worse.

    If the positive thoughts don't come naturally then don't torture yourself. You are not choosing to be depressed and you did not ask for this. You can't simply decide one day that you'll be happy from now on. It just doesn't work that way.

    What does make it easier for me, which can be different for others, is finding a reason to fight the depression. We all know how much easier it is to stay in bed and let the world go by. And that the hardest thing in the morning is actually getting out of bed and facing the world. Once I realised that I needed a new theory to apply in order to fight my depression, I asked myself why I wanted to get better. My answer, my loved ones.

    I want to be better for my family and my friends. So each morning that I struggle to want to open my eyes, I think of why I should get out of bed, why I should keep fighting. Although, we are still allowed a few dark days here and there to let our mind and body to recoup. Remember don't force yourself into anything that doesn't feel right to do.

    Having a reason, a purpose to live, to fight just made it easier.

    2 people found this helpful
  4. yarnartisan
    yarnartisan avatar
    40 posts
    24 June 2015 in reply to Tabby Main

    Tabby main thank you so much for your post especially about not torturing yourself trying to find positive thoughts.

    I don't know how many.times heard that line or there,s always someone worse off than you. 

    Both of these made me feel so inadequate and lowered my self worth a bit more. And hey none of choose this illness.

    im starting to finally come to grips with the fact to do it in the way that works for me, that time out to heal is not selfish because a happier healthier me can be a better mum and wife.

    thanks so much for saying it like is its been so helpful


  5. white knight
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • Life membership is awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    white knight avatar
    9755 posts
    24 June 2015 in reply to yarnartisan

    Hi Tabby main,

    Yes thankyou also.

    Recent research has found it is also better to allow the depressive cycle to run its course and when you start to feel better to THEN introduce so positive choices. Not fight it when you are clearly down which apparently causes your cycle to last longer than it would.

    Great thread.

    Tony WK

    2 people found this helpful
  6. yarnartisan
    yarnartisan avatar
    40 posts
    24 June 2015 in reply to white knight

    Thanks White knight for that extra info, it makes , sense.About leting things run their course.


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