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Forums / Suicidal thoughts and self-harm / *Trigger Warning* I really don’t want to keep going so why am I still here?

Topic: *Trigger Warning* I really don’t want to keep going so why am I still here?

4 posts, 0 answered
  1. ...Gekota
    ...Gekota avatar
    17 posts
    16 July 2021
    I am so lonely. I have no friends, I lost all my good online friends. All my other friends make me feel like I should get it over and done with now because it’s not like they’d care very much if I were gone. I’m so so tired. I’m scared. I want to die, I want to kill my self. I can’t stop thinking about it every day. It all too much for me the world is too big and it just too much I can’t keep living like this I don’t want to keep living at all I just want to put my self too peace painlessly so I can leave. So why am I still here? It’s just causing me even more pain to be alive and I don’t want this I don’t want to live anymore. I’ve gotten to the point that even though I do love my parents I don’t even have the selflessness to care about what killing my self would do too them I just want to get myself out of this. I hate it here. I hate it so much, I hate this feeling, I hate myself, I just want to get out I want to sleep and never wake Back up into this cruel world again. Let me die. So why am I not dead? I know I’m just causing myself more hurt and pain by staying but I don’t want to feel any more pain. What do I do? I know no one will tell me to kill myself here. But I honestly don’t see how anything could get better. I feel like I’ll be alive for a while. I don’t want to feel anymore pain I just want to dissolve in numbness.
  2. Sophie_M
    Community Moderator
    • Works for beyondblue moderating these forums
    Sophie_M avatar
    6620 posts
    16 July 2021 in reply to ...Gekota

    Hey ...Gekota,

    Thank you for reaching out tonight and sharing your thoughts with us. We can hear the amount of pain you're experiencing and we know how dark and hopeless life must feel at the moment. Please know you don't have to keep these thoughts and feelings to yourself. There are people ready to listen and to support you through this. Our Support Service is trying to reach out to you via email as we are worried about you.

    We would urge that you seek professional support to help you work through these thoughts that you're experiencing. If you are not sure of how to access mental health support, please contact the Beyond Blue Support Service anytime on 1300 22 4636 or get in touch with us on Webchat 3pm-12am AEST here:

    You can also get in touch with our friends at Lifeline (13 11 14) or the Suicide Call Back Service (1300 659 467).

    Please feel free to keep us updated here on your thread with what you are feeling and experiencing whenever you feel up to it - we hope that you find this to be a safe and non-judgemental space.

  3. ...Gekota
    ...Gekota avatar
    17 posts
    16 July 2021 in reply to Sophie_M

    I’m sorry but I can’t receive I call from you. I’ll be okay I’m not going to do anything I’m just not in a very good headspace at the moment but I’ll work on it. Thank you for your support.

  4. Guest9337
    Guest9337 avatar
    1001 posts
    16 July 2021 in reply to ...Gekota

    Good morning ...Gekota.

    How's this morning going?

    Did you pick the avatar name ...Gekota because you also suffer motion sickness like the old man character also named Gekota?

    We have some frog lovers here on bb fyi.

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