All my life people have bullied me for who I am whilst I suffered from mental illness, all my life I was too open and now I feel nothing but shame, all my life the only one who cared for me and still does is my mother despite all I've done. Now I eat away all my pain and go to the Psychiatrist who tries to help me but I'm being forced on medication because of a TA whilst I suffer sleepless nights. I have no education and no friends, I'm on a pension I feel I don't need but people only hurt me and I can't even shower properly from the depression I feel. I never had my father except for about an hour before he died when I was 12. I've never had any "mates" only girlfriends who I didn't even love and was just using to stop the bullying. they stayed friends with me but it was just shits and giggles so I've had no real friends. My family have bullied me along with school bullies. Now I hear voices who do the most awful things to me that I could've never imagined happening to anyone. No medication or combo of them works so here I am asking does life get better for everyone when my life has only gotten worse? And is there a point to all this?

I meant to write deserve not need not sure what happened but yeah.

Welcome to the Beyond Blue forum Jay25,

We are very grateful to have you join us today and be so open in sharing your thoughts and experiences. We're so sorry to hear that you feel your life has been filled by shame and suffering. We can hear that you have been through many difficulties that are causing you a lot of pain. We hope you know that these feelings of sadness will eventually pass and life can get better.  It sounds like you have a lot to offer people and we're sure that a lot of our community members will relate to these feelings and hopefully, some of them will be able to offer you words of advice.

If you feel it may be helpful, you are always welcome to get in touch with Kids Help Line. They are a confidential and anonymous, telephone and online counselling service specifically for young people aged 25 and under.

We’d also welcome you to reach out to our Support Service, which is available 24/7 by phone on 1300 22 4636 or on Webchat 3pm-12am AEST on our website: www.beyondblue.org.au/getsupport. We would also recommend getting in touch with an organisation called Headspace. Headspace is an organisation specifically for young people aged 12-25 and they offer a wide range of services including group programs which are a great opportunity to meet people. They also have a group chat on their webpage.

Please feel free to reach out here on your thread and keep us updated on what you're feeling and experiencing whenever you feel up to it.