Thanks you for your replies, I do appreciate it. After posting last night I followed the sleep schedule, did my CBT and went to bed. I did sleep though I am awake now and exhausted. I would really like to feel rested as I’m trying so hard to improve things.
Mary you have a really nice way with words, just want you to know that. My GP and Psych are both currently on holiday with family (incredibly well earned as they both work too much). I saw them both at the start of the year with a focus on sleep and the new mental health plan. I’ll see them again late January. Previously I wasn’t falling asleep at all until well after midnight, hence the sleep schedule. This past week it has been working as I fall asleep, but I’m having all sorts of funky dreams (thank you meds). Then I wake up and it is like I didn’t rest. I will talk to them about it and can only keep trying. My GP is gorgeous and so good at her job. I have anxiety around talking to medical people and I always feel inarticulate when I explain things. I’m getting better with her.
Sophie, I have used the online chat before with some success. Thanks for reaching out, can barely even see any marks this morning. It’s more distraction than hurt really. Plus I know it doesn’t help so I fight it.
Tim, I relate a lot to that needing to disappear for a while, especially re work. I often take things as my own fault and work to fix them. My contract wasn’t renewed for this year despite endless positive feedback from all concerned. They discriminated against me because of my mental health. Excited to be starting somewhere new and putting it behind me. Psych has been great with helping. Still I’m nervous things might go the same way.
Thanks for your empathy Mooy. I am looking forward to my new job if I can get myself sorted first. Hope today is a little better and regardless of my own stuff I’m always willing to listen too.
Everyone here is so kind and existing in a space with others who understand is nice.
Hugs to all