I really appreciate that you've shared your story on here. Please always remember that you will always be welcomed here with open arms, and that this is a safe space free of judgement.
I can see that everything is incredibly difficult for you right now, and you're feeling like there's no where to turn. You are feeling extremely isolated, abandoned, and that you're a burden on everyone, as well as your GP and therapist. You've been extremely depressed to the point where you've hardly left your house, or gotten in contact with anyone over the phone, and you haven't been able to do the things you enjoy.
I can imagine that because of lockdown, isolating yourself has become much easier and has made everything a lot more difficult, in terms of loneliness and losing motivation.
You mentioned that you're currently in an online relationship with someone who is abusive, that you've experienced bullying in your previous workplace and university, and you're GP has lost patience with you and your therapist had gotten angry with you.. In conjunction with your diagnoses, I can see how this is has been unbearable for you and your ability to live your life.
It's unfair that to this day, mental health stigma still exists in healthcare and all facets of society. You do not deserve negligence, abuse or bullying from anyone, and I'm so sorry that you've had to and continue to experience this.
I can see that you're seriously considering ending your life. As Sophie has mentioned, how would it feel to contact Lifeline today, or when you feel like you're going to act on these thoughts? You could also use their text service if you aren't comfortable talking to someone on the phone and if you find it easier to type out your thoughts.
I can see that you believe that there isn't a way out. But I want you to know that you have options, and I see strength in you and a strong desire to change. Your immediate safety is the most important thing, and I hope that you can focus on getting through today.
I'd love to hear from you. <3