Hi Nelson001,

Thank you for your post. I am really sorry to hear you are struggling so much right now. It sounds like you are in a pretty bad place. You are definitely not alone in what you are going through though.

When you have struggled in the past, was there anything that you remember that helped you? Have you considered seeing your GP or talking to someone you trust about what has been happening for you?

If and when you feel up to it, please do not hesitate to talk more. We are here to listen and support you. Take care.

Hi Nelson001, welcome to the forums.

I'm sorry you're struggling a lot with bad depression. There's many types of depression. I would suggest seeing a GP and/or Psychiatrist (you'd need to see a GP anyway to get a referral for a Psychiatrist) to get a diagnosis, sometimes it helps getting an answer.

I have Major Depressive Disorder and Dysthymia at the same time, so it could be something like that but I'm no medical professional of course. Just trying to say you're not alone, I'm in a very deep depression myself and I have been since I was 12, in 2011. I'm 21 now.

Take care, I'm always here if you'd like someone to chat to.

Hi Nelson001,

You are definitely not alone in what you are experiencing. I'm really sorry that you haven't been able to find what you need yet. Do you know if your GP is able to refer you to group therapy or if she has any other suggestions? Is trying a different medication an option if you are not feeling the one you are currently on is making any difference? Are you open to talking to a counsellor or psychologist? Do you think this may be another option to investigate and try? Just some things to think about.

Take care.

Hi Nelson 001. Sorry to hear you are having a rough time. I have got major depression and can say I know how you feel about wondering about going crazy.
I am feeling low at the moment but about five years ago I had a major depressive ‘episode’ I suppose you might call it. My psychiatrist asked if I wanted to go to hospital and I immediately agreed (pure relief). I was then pretty much immediately put on ECT treatments.
I am just curious have you been on many antidepressants so far or are you concerned that you need help immediately?
I am not against ECT as it certainly helped me when I needed it the most but I do also want to warn you that my treatments had a lasting effect on my life. Unfortunately they took a lot of my memory away and they have changed me as a person. I no longer have loving memories with my family to look back on and I feel like that not only has changed me as a person but also has had an impact because I can’t remember all the love and great times I had over the years with my family.
Basically just wanted to let you know to be a bit careful.
Take care, Juliet.

Hey Nelson, I'm sorry I didn't reply sooner. I've been struggling a lot myself. I know how you feel, I can't even see a Psychologist and they all let me down anyway. I tell my GP and Psychiatrist this everytime and they don't get it and understand how I feel, and it's like they think I'm making it up but I'm not (bad experiences with Psychologists I mean). They think it's so easy to find one, it isn't. I've tried so many places.

I wish I could do some sort of group therapy myself but there is none where I live and I don't feel comfortable using Zoom

hi Nelson,

I would echo what Juliet has said re ECT and would really weigh up pros/cons. I also have depression and anxiety for some years now. I have never been on meds let alone ECT - so do not have my own experience of it like Juliet. But I have been in hospitals and spoken with others - patients and staff and they all say what Juliet has said and that they regret it as it has changed them/memories etc etc. It sounds quite scary and I would never touch it. And believe me I suffer severe depression - in bed most days and on lifelines - but still I would never go there. It is your choice - but I would talk to a few professionals, do some research, including into other things such as meds - different classes of meds etc. And go from there. All the best.

Thanks for the reply guys. much appreciated. Hearing that someone else feels the same way as me, believe it or not makes me feel a little bit better. It lets me know that it's all part of the depression.

ECT sounds pretty scary. If it's that bad maybe I'll have to look at something else. The only other option I have is tapering off the pills that I'm on but you have to go through bad depression as you go. They want me to come down in mg and then start on another medication, but you come down at 10% a month. I started to taper off but the depression became too much.

Life can be a bitch sometimes. All my thoughts are so negative, and anything I have to do becomes a big project I don't know what to do. I just wish this feeling would leave me alone. Talking to people like you guys helps a lot. You don't feel so lonely. Thanks

Hi again golden82. Why don't you try so meds, when they work they work well and make you feel normal.

Cheers Nelson

Hi all, Is there anyone else that have had ECT at all that you could tell of their experience.

Hi Nelson001,

As well as following the responses here, you may also find it helpful to look through these threads to hear about others' experiences with ECT:

https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/treatments-health-professionals-and-therapies/ect-treatment

https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/treatments-health-professionals-and-therapies/updated-impending-ect-treatment

https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/treatments-health-professionals-and-therapies/tired-of-been-depressed-now---looking-at-ect-

https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/treatments-health-professionals-and-therapies/ect---my-experience

https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/treatments-health-professionals-and-therapies/my-wife-has-just-had-ect---what-is-the-recovery-time-

I hope that you find reading these helpful. Take care.

• "Anxiety management strategies"
• "Feeling suicidal"

Hi Nelson.

Please hold on, I believe in you. I know how hard it is. You can push through.

Please reach out to a helpline and/or 000 if it's an emergency, although you can of course get help here but it's not immediate.

Are you safe right now?

Hi Nelson. I'm sorry you feel crappy. I'm the same, my thoughts are so negative too, so I get it.

I'm not a professional, nobody here is, so you would be best discussing meds etc with a GP and Psychiatrist.

Hi mb20lover, thanks for the reply. It feels nice when someone replies. you don't feel so lonely. I have just retired and sitting at home all day, doing nothing all day doesn't help. I'm annoyed that there is nothing I can do to get myself feeling better. It's hard to just have to grin and bear it. I hate it. I just don't know how it will all end. You in the same boat eh. I feel sorry for you. and anyone who has to go through something like this. How do you manage to get through each day? All the best to you, mb20lover

Hi Nelson001,

I am really sorry you are in such a dark place right now. There are no words to describe the pain that depression can put a person through. I cannot imagine how you are feeling right now, but it sounds like you are really struggling with finding the support that you need. It is very difficult when you feel like the support that you need is not affordable or accessible. I wish there was more we could do to help. Have you considered talking to your GP about creating a plan for the next couple of months to get you through so that you feel better supported to get through the time before you can commence ECT?

Please know this forum is here for you. We see your struggle and we want you to know that you are not alone. It may feel like there is no one and that your thoughts will consume you and that that pain will not end, but you are not alone. Please reach out when you feel up to it and when you want to or need to. Please take care of yourself and keep safe.

Hi Nelson.

Thanks, I don't really do anything either, I have no life. I've tried to meet people and join groups to do so, etc. I don't have a job and never have and drive, and I'm 21, left school early. I'm a failure, sigh.

I've tried to get Psychologists but I just keep having bad experiences so I give up. I have a GP and Psychiatrist though.

I don't really get through the days well.

Thank you.

Yes I'm on SSRI antidepressants, I've tried a few antidepressants and have since August 2019, so they're kind of still new to me (I didn't know much about them). I've tried trycliclic antidepressants and other types also. I'm not sure if my current ones are working which I've been on for a few months.

Yeah my Psychiatrist is more helpful than my GP, he hasn't done much. I haven't had ECT before, I don't have health insurance either.