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Forums / Suicidal thoughts and self-harm / Depresion is crushing my acting career...

Topic: Depresion is crushing my acting career...

7 posts, 0 answered
  1. another-one
    another-one avatar
    4 posts
    16 February 2021
    I am 5 years out of UNI where I studied acting and since then I have been doing well in my theatre career. However I feel like I'm loosing my momentum/motivation of making new works for the stage due to my depression resurfacing. I have been dealing with genetic anxiety/depression for over 10 years now; I have been seeing a theripist and taking medication for 7 of those years on and off. It's scaring me that I'm no longer motivated to get on stage and show my work, I know that I love it but my depression is getting in the way. I want to get back into my grove and keep creating but I don't know how to do that when my will to live is so low...
    Any advice/help would be greatly appreciated.
  2. Sophie_M
    Community Moderator
    • Works for beyondblue moderating these forums
    Sophie_M avatar
    6825 posts
    16 February 2021 in reply to another-one

    Welcome to the Beyond Blue forums another-one, 

    Thank you for having the strength to reach out tonight and be open about your situation and thoughts. We're sorry to hear you've been struggling with anxiety and depression on and off for the past 10 years. We acknowledge how difficult it would be to keep motivated and active while experiencing symptoms of depression. If you feel comfortable, would you share more about your experiences of depression and when you felt it begin to resurface?

    It's good to hear that you have sought help from health professionals. We understand that the process of finding what works for you can be frustrating, but we would encourage you to keep trying to find the right treatment and support. You might find some of the following Beyond Blue resources helpful:

    We hope you know that there is always help available to you, whether it's from our professional mental health counsellors Beyond Blue (available 24/7/365 on 1300 22 4636) or our friends at Lifeline (13 11 14) or the Suicide Call Back Service (1300 659 467).

    Please check-in and let us know how you are whenever you feel up to it.
     
    1 person found this helpful
  3. another-one
    another-one avatar
    4 posts
    16 February 2021 in reply to Sophie_M
    Thanks Sophie_M,
    My depression suddenly first turned up 7 years ago which I immediately seeked help for. I just woke up one day very depressed and it didn't go away for a few months. It was very hard as I was suicidal and was self harming but with the help of my psycologist and my meds I got better. It has been returing every few months lasting from a few days to a couple of weeks. In these times I feel lethargic, pessimistic, numb and on occasions suicidal. However I have not self harmed in 5 years so that's good. It recently resurfaced early last week, it should disssipate soon hopefully. It's just hard not being able to do/enjoy the things you want to do and work at.
  4. Croix
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • Life membership is awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    Croix avatar
    11068 posts
    16 February 2021 in reply to another-one

    Dear Another-one~

    I'd like to join Sophie in welcoming you here and can say the links she has given you are most useful, particularly the Suicide Call Back Service she mentions, who are very experienced and professional -but realistic too.

    In case you are worried your talkof suicide and self-harm was OK. I tried to take my life but now am in a good place and have been for a long time.

    I can see you have not lost your artistic touch, your avatar is most appropriate (and reminds me of WestWorld). You also have the drive inside to go on, or you would not be here.

    Depressions fills the mind, hiding so much. I'd no idea of my likes, loves or why I did what I did, so it its no surprise that you wonder if your have lost the desire to be on stage -and work at it. Actually if you are anything like me it is all there, but buried. As I got better my old-self, likes, dislikes, love and abilities returned.

    Do you think, when you are down, it is practical to simply go back to your acting environment? I used uni plus the Jane-St Theater and know there are always odd jobs need doing, lights held etc or simply talk if someone was friendly. As time when on I did more by stages. Maybe you will do a walk-on or one-liner as you find your feet again.

    The groove will return, in fact I suspect it might suddenly take hold.

    All of that above may not be practical, I do not know your circumstances, perhaps you would like to say. You might also like to say -if you want- what you have enjoyed and when feeling good what plans you have.

    Can I ask if there is anyone in your life you can confide in? Family or friend? Someone who will be there for you, just listen when you talk and simply do nothing else but simply care? It leaves one not alone dealing with this.

    My partner plus therapy and meds (plus hospital in my case) got me to a stage where things kept improving, now I'm happy and fulfilled.

    You are not alone and I hope to hear from you some more.

    Croix

  5. another-one
    another-one avatar
    4 posts
    16 February 2021 in reply to Croix

    Thankyou Croix,
    You're right, it's like my passions are still there but buried. I create my own theatre works and tour them at fringe festivals around Australia. This year I want to work on some new things to tour next year (hopefuly covid won't interfere).
    I have a few friends who I can talk to but I rarely do about my problems as I don't want to burden them. I know that this is a common thought for people who have depression/anxiety, but it effects me all the same.
    Thanks again for sharing your experience/advice!

    1 person found this helpful
  6. blondguy
    Life Member
    • Life membership is awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    blondguy avatar
    11398 posts
    17 February 2021 in reply to another-one

    Hello another-one

    I understand your pain with your acting career as having a tired mind (depression/anxiety) can sometimes impact our ability to function on a day to day basis. My 'tired mind' started when I was 23 and the depression (and anxiety) was awful to deal with every day....until I had the courage to find some frequent counselling from a psychiatric nurse through my local council....He was brilliant

    Just a note of respect....It took me weeks to create my own thread topic as I didnt have the confidence back in 2016 when my depression was severe....You have posted your thread without an issue...That is inner strength

    Great to have you as part of the Beyond Blue family! You are always welcome to post if and when you wish

    my kind thoughts

    Paul

  7. another-one
    another-one avatar
    4 posts
    17 February 2021 in reply to blondguy
    Thankyou very much Paul, I haven't seen my psycologist in a while but I think it's time for another visit!

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