Hello Dear Resviana,
A very warm and caring welcome to the forums...
I am so sorry that your struggling a lot with your mental health....
I can relate to the sudden thoughts of suicide and the self harm..(to get out of your head.......It happens to me, when I get triggered into a PTSD depression....I’m wondering if you know of anything that could be triggering these unhealthy thoughts....Maybe something that happened to you in your younger life has been embedded into your mind and something...could be a smell, a tone of voice, etc that starts these thoughts and your unaware of it..
It took me a while, trying to understand why I dropped so fast into depression with suicidal thoughts...After much gentle prompting from the wonderful people here on the forums...I made a long appointment with my Dr...and spoke honestly to her about my thoughts and how I was feeling...She got me started with a mental health care plan...which included sessions with professional mental health counsellors/psychologist...Now I can at most times get outside of my head, when the thoughts become unhealthy by using some coping strategies that they taught me....I’m wondering and would like to gently urge you and ask if you would might consider speaking to your Doctor?....
Please...Resviana, the mental health chat numbers are their for anyone who needs them,,,,,you are as important as everyone else...so please if you need to ring or chat online..please don’t hesitate to do so....I have used Suicide call back service and Beyond Blue support service a few times...they are such caring and understand counsellors on the other end of phone and they really do help....
Please, talk here when your feeling up to...we are here to help support you as much as we can...
My kindest thoughts with my care..
Grandy..