So I spoke to hubby lastnight, he is understanding, after I tried to explain why I didn't want to go. He did state "don't let ****(hidden name) get to you, if he starts ranting after he drinks just ignore him, it's not fair we all don't get to see the family because you don't want to be around ****." To which I replied, "oh you and the kids can go, but I'm not in the right headspace to deal with it right now," he understood that. He did say maybe I should talk to the family about it, but I told him I'm really not ready for that and his mum always turns what I say around to be about his sister and what she's doing.
I absolutely can not deal with that right now. And I don't want to snap at her. We are both vergos......infact our birthdays are on the same day 🤦. Yeah that's the other thing. Every year it's always been what she wants to do on 'her' birthday. If it's not what she wants to do, she kicks up the shits and everyone drops everything and does what she wants.
Also our youngest son's birthday is the same day as my sister n laws.....she's the only girl out of 4 kids, so she's always been the angel of their eyes lol. On our sons 5th birthday we had a party, the night before we had a gathering for the SIL so we could have our sons 5th birthday about him. When it came time to having the cake and sang happy birthday to him, he was just in the verge of blowing out his candles and my mother in law started singing out happy birthday to my SIL, my hubby and I were not impressed at all. It was meant to be a day for our son. We already had a day for her. I also think this is where I get alot of my issues from, always being pushed aside for others. Now I'm rambling lol. But it feels good to get this out.