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Topic: Help

  1. Waxer
    Waxer avatar
    97 posts
    2 September 2021 in reply to Croix
    Hi all,Just thought I would give u an update. Since my last post, things have dramatically improved, I went to hospital 1 night, she didnt even call me until morning but I think the experience shook my wife up a bit into really thinking about losing me when she found out I had a life threatening bowel obstruction, followed by evidence of spots on my liver, kidney and a damaged part of my bowel. Not long after that, we went away on long service leave for 11 weeks. For a while before we went, my wife had developed a very chronic bad back. I have for quite a long time now gone over the top trying to be the perfect husband as the husband I was, obviously wasn't good enough for her. In any case, a while ago, I said to myself, I will be the best husband physically and emotionally that I am capable of, and if that is still not enough, I will have to accept there is no chance. Anyway, I am physically good- fit and put on some muscle and lost about 5 or 6kg in fat. I treat her like a queen. I believe I have had the patience of a saint with her- she has always been fiery, but when she is in pain, even more so- very snappy and tends to take life out on me. But I maintained patience and looked after her every need, massage her back, pretty much wait on her. I think she has eventually realised what she has and has become very very loving , affectionate (not so much sexually, but she says that is hormones and pain) not as snappy- or at least settles much faster as I rarely react to her outbursts. I also think a huge factor in us getting along, is that I haven't had 3 other people (her sisters and her boyfriend) undermining me for over 3 months. I think she realises a bit of what her sisters have been doing and she is not calling her BF 5 or 6 times a day and seems to be much more content with me. I will never trust her sisters or her BF and I feel I must maintain my guard. I really need to work on my mental health though. I believe I may have ptsd. I jump and get startled at the tiniest unexpected sound- especially if its her voice that I am not expecting. Yet I am unafraid to walk through water at night with possible crocodiles present on my holiday. I constantly replay the most hurtful episodes of the whole mess. I get irritable easily, I get bad anxiety . I still believe I am not the most important person in her life. I find myself atm worried about our upcoming anniversary, last year she didn't even write in a card or even sign it.

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