You have proved to yourself that youu don't want to go down that dark path by reaching out here for some support.
That shows much courage and strength and it shows hope.
I am glad yiu had the email from the lawyer. I understand you still feel nervous, of course. But if you can try possibly ti take it one step at a time. You have a fee days to wait until the lawyer contacts you, so i wonder, can you try your very best to not cast ahead into that unknown future ... and try to stay right here, in this present moment?
It's so hard to do ... but now is what you do have. Now, with your wife and family ...
Deal with tomorrow tomorrow, and deal with Sunday on Sunday, and deal with Monday on Monday ...
Step by step, you can find your way through this.
Keep being the person you are, helping others with their hay, teaching ithers terrific life skills, being your best self, and hold your head high.