Hello Butterfly.Wings.of.Hope, I love your username and profile picture.
I'm really sorry to hear of your battles with SH, and that you've recently done it, and the other things you wrote.
Please know that the so called "friend" isn't worth your time if they're going to be like that, and you did nothing wrong, it's all on them, and it's their loss. I think you sound like a great person who is struggling, and they did the wrong thing.
You're not worthless at all, I promise you. I've lost many so called "friends" myself, and I know how hard it is, I really do. So I completely understand. I'm glad you have your husband as a support.
Please know that we're all here for you, it's a caring, friendly, supportive, non judgemental environment on these forums, and I do hope that you feel safe here and can find some support.
Please stay safe, we all care about you and want you to be ok. I wish I could help you more.