Welcome to this forum , a. very supportive place.
You are so strong , I can not imagine what you have suffered since the death of your son,
I have bipolar and 3 children, and I think you are amazing to work .
Is it possible to work part time, to give yourself less pressure.
I am glad you can be honest.
Have you had grief counselling?
There is a thread This bipolar life so you may like to have a look. We are a friendly supportive bunch.
Your are a mother to your partners children .
Thanks for reaching out. I will like to hear more if you want to.