Hi,

I'm new here. I've been self-harming for just over a year now on and off, usually once or twice a month. Nothing that bad or dangerous. I have been seeing a psychologist since April this year. A week or two ago, she asked me "do you want to stop self-harming". And I know this sounds bad, but not really. I dont do it much and its never a dangerous thing but sometimes I feel like I dont want to stop. I wanted to ask if this is normal and how I could get out of this mindset. I mean sometimes of course I want to stop, but it feels like when things get hard or I start feeling bad again I just think like "who cares" or like "it doesn't matter".

Hi Taylor G,
 
Welcome to the BB community and thank you for reaching out tonight. We hope you have find the support you are looking for here. We are glad that you are open and honest with your psychologist and you have spoken to them about your self-harm. It sounds like you are very conflicted about how you want to approach this situation. On one hand you want to stop and you keep seeking support for it, on the other, you seem to turn back to it when times are hard.
 
Have you tried calling a helpline when you feel like you may act on your urges of self-harm? Having an open space to explore your feelings may help provide you with a circuit breaking to help you through tough times. When you feel like you may act upon your thoughts try calling our friends at Lifeline on 13 11 14 or our support centre on 1300 22 4636 (24/7).
 
Welcome again and we hope you keep us update as to how things progress with you in the future.
 

Hello Taylor G,

Welcome to the forums. It's nice to meet you.

As Sophie_M mentioned, it's great that you are able to be open and honest with your psychologist, and also with us here as well.

I suppose the straightforward answer to your question would be that I self-harmed at one point too, and I also often felt like I didn't really care whether I stopped or not. I wanted to, but it wasn't something I wanted enough to do anything about. At some point, I did try other things and sometimes they worked, other times they didn't. I tried doing things that would 'ground me' like walking on grass barefoot, having cold showers and that kind of thing. It helped me get out of my head, so to speak.

Is there anything you've tried as an alternative?

James

hello and welcome to the forums.

Self-harming is a coping strategy for many people. You cannot expected you to stop using self-harm unless you want to. Perhaps talking about it with your psychologist about this...how self-harm helps you – it is really up to you. Beyond blue also has pages on self harm alternatives ...

https://www.beyondblue.org.au/the-facts/suicide-prevention/feeling-suicidal/self-harm-and-self-injury

you might be able to find an alternative way of coping? I guess whatever is happening in your life to make you feel the need to self-harm is quite distressing. If you want to chat here about any of that,

Listening to you,