Hello Taylor G,
Welcome to the forums. It's nice to meet you.
As Sophie_M mentioned, it's great that you are able to be open and honest with your psychologist, and also with us here as well.
I suppose the straightforward answer to your question would be that I self-harmed at one point too, and I also often felt like I didn't really care whether I stopped or not. I wanted to, but it wasn't something I wanted enough to do anything about. At some point, I did try other things and sometimes they worked, other times they didn't. I tried doing things that would 'ground me' like walking on grass barefoot, having cold showers and that kind of thing. It helped me get out of my head, so to speak.
Is there anything you've tried as an alternative?