I’d probobly regret posting about this in the morning, but I just really needed to talk to someone, for someone to understand.
I’m a 15yearold who struggles with depression and anxiety. I can not afford going to a medical professional nor does my family have the time to take me, they do not think it’s a great deal of an issue so I’m really stuck here with invalidating my own thoughts, and wondering if I’m doing this for attention or if it’s not a big deal.
latley, I have been feeling like I can’t talk to anyone. All my friends have their own problems and I don’t want the burden of my nonsense to be on their plate aswell. Recently everytime I feel like I’ve failed or disappointed someone, I have an urge to harm my self.
Ive struggled with self harm in the past when I was 12, I only did it once or twice. I do not know why. I haven’t told anyone about this and I haven’t told anyone about the constant build up of having the urge to do it again.
am I bad person for wanting a break? All my friends do is tell me about their problems, and I love helping them I really do. I listen to them and I support them the way I can. For example my friend is struggling through the start of developing Ed. I went through something similar to what she is going through in the past, and still are.
I listened and understood, I supported her and helped her. But I felt bad, for some reason I felt selfish for wanting her to ask if I’m okay. Because during these conversations I’d think about my self harm and intrusive thoughts. And recently she told me she wasn't doing well whilst we were on a call. And I felt like a failed.
I felt like a horrible person and I felt like I couldn’t help her.
everything piled up over and over again and my head started ringing.
why do I feel selfish for wanting to be asked if I’m okay.
I don’t have the confidence to end my life, and that’s not why I do self-harm. I do it to my self for punishment. I feel stupid