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Forums / Suicidal thoughts and self-harm / I’m overwhelmed and alone and everything is too much

Topic: I’m overwhelmed and alone and everything is too much

5 posts, 0 answered
  1. Jamie42
    Jamie42 avatar
    3 posts
    11 November 2021

    Everything is just too much, and it was bad enough before but now I’m alone and I can’t handle it. I don’t know how to deal with him being here but not really being here. I have a plan and I desperately want to go through with it but I don’t want him to blame himself at all, I know he’s helped me more than I deserve but I’m worried that he might not realise that (I have told him).

    I’ve been trying to actually see someone in person at headspace (even though I know it won’t help and will just be another source of stress). We spent over a week doing phone tag to set up an intake call, then the date we scheduled the duty worker was sick, so a new time was scheduled but they called late so I was driving cause I had given up on waiting, then when I called back they said they’d call back in 2 minutes snd they haven’t called even though that was days ago.

    I knew that trying to get help was probably gonna make things harder but I didn’t expect it to make things harder before I’d even started.

    I just alternate between paralysing anxiety and not having the energy to care about anything. Lately they’ve been blending into one, I just live vaguely distracted, not doing the things that I need to or making important decisions, but with fear inside.

    The hole in my chest is back, but the edges used to be blurry and numb. Now they’re torn and ragged and they hurt so much.

    Everything just hurts. I miss him even though he’s still here. I hate myself for not being productive but I still don’t do anything. I’m actively trying to get help because he said I had to but it seems impossible.

    None of it is worth it. He’s the only reason I haven’t gone through with it and I don’t know if that’s enough anymore.

  2. Sophie_M
    Community Moderator
    • Works for beyondblue moderating these forums
    Sophie_M avatar
    6126 posts
    11 November 2021 in reply to Jamie42
    Hey Jamie42, 

    Thanks for reaching out tonight and sharing your thoughts with us. It's really great to hear you're trying to support yourself and coming to the forums is a good way to do this. We're so sorry to hear how overwhelmed and torn you feel at the moment. Could you tell us more about what happened between you and the person you've mentioned? Are you referring to your best friend? We know how hard it can be to lose a friend and are sorry this has occurred. Please know our forum community is very friendly and do let us know how we can best support you here. 

    We would strongly recommend that you get in touch with Kids Helpline - It sounds like you're in a really tough situation and it might help to talk it out whenever you're feeling overwhelmed. Kids Helpline counsellors can be contacted 24/7 via telephone and also via webchat if you go through the website provided.

    In addition to this, there are always counsellors available via phone for your most difficult moments. Some of these 24/7 services include Lifeline on 13 11 14 or via webchat which you can access through the link provided: (The online chat is available 7pm-12am). 

    The Suicide Call Back Service is also available on 1300 659 467 or via webchat through there website:

    We've also sent a private message to check in with you. We hope to hear from you soon. 
  3. Jamie42
    Jamie42 avatar
    3 posts
    11 November 2021 in reply to Sophie_M

    Sophie_M said:Could you tell us more about what happened between you and the person you've mentioned? Are you referring to your best friend?

    Yeah he’s my best mate. He’s amazing and I love him more than I’ve ever loved anyone. He means a lot to me. He’s been helping me with a lot of my issues but he’s not gonna help anymore. Some of his reasons are completely reasonable and understandable (looking after himself, which is important), some are shit (he thinks it’s what’s best for me partly cause the assistant pastor said so. They’re wrong. This is crushing me and I’m alone)

  4. Petal22
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Petal22 avatar
    1537 posts
    11 November 2021 in reply to Jamie42

    Hi Jamie42,

    Im sorry you are feeling this way.

    I understand it would be a very difficult situation for you.

    Sophie has given you some great contacts and you can always call our very caring beyondblue councillors on 1300 22 4636.

    Im sorry that Headspace haven’t called you back.

    I understand anxiety is very difficult to deal with I suffered with severe anxiety OCD it was a horrible condition to deal with but I have now recovered thanks to the help I received from health professionals.

    You can learn to manage your anxiety you really can you just need the professional help to teach you the skills….. life after anxiety really can be great…. .. what you are experiencing is temporary you can get through this….. please don’t give up…

    Im also sorry to hear of your best friend.

    How would you feel about talking to a gp about the way you are feeling?

    We are all a very caring supportive community and we are here to support you.

  5. Yorke/Yorke
    blueVoices member
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Yorke/Yorke avatar
    27 posts
    11 November 2021 in reply to Jamie42

    I'm hearing all that pain you're going through trying to look after yourself and hitting wall after wall. Sometimes that initial set up takes a bit of work but once the relationship is built up with the counsellor or psychologist it can be life changing.

    You sound as though you have so much appreciation for all your friend has done, and that you want the best for them too.

    Feeling alone in the world can feel absolutely devastating. Please do continue to post here, we are listening and here for you.

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