I am so sorry you are feeling lost. It sounds like you are in a pretty dark place right now and that things are feeling quite scary. I am glad you have been able to reach out though. Please know that you are not alone in what you are experiencing, there is support available. You do not have to answer, but when you left hospital, was there any follow up organised with your treating team? Is there anyone that you feel able to contact e.g. your GP or a mental health clinician so that they know what is going on and can provide you with more intensive support?
If you feel like things are reaching a crisis point, please do not hesitate to call Lifeline on 13 11 14 - you can call anytime 24/7 and you can remain anonymous if you prefer.
Please know that we are here to listen and support you. You can reach out as and when you wish. Take care.