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Forums / Suicidal thoughts and self-harm / Not in a good space

Topic: Not in a good space

  1. JackFrost
    JackFrost avatar
    18 posts
    30 September 2021 in reply to Katyonthehamsterwheel

    You're most welcome. I hope you can find someone that will work well for you.

    If you have teaken the week off, I'd clear your mental space. Give all academia a wide berth. Practice mindfulness, transcendental meditation, etc. Stuff that will help you physically, mentally, and emotionally. Then you can use them whenever you want down the line.

    I'll stop suggesting things now, I feel like I am counselling you when I continue to forget to do these things myself haha.

    Have a wonderful week

  2. Hanna3
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    3215 posts
    1 October 2021 in reply to JackFrost

    Hi Jack Frost(&hi Katy)

    Out of interest what subject area did you study/supervise in?

    I did social anthropology and philosophy.

    Cheers!

    Hope you're going OK Katy 🥀

  3. JackFrost
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    18 posts
    3 October 2021 in reply to Hanna3

    Hi Hanna,

    Psychology and neuroscience. I supervise in neuroscience.

    I studied philosophy in undergrad. I miss it. I still have lots of my old philosophy books because it sparks so much thought!

  4. Hanna3
    Hanna3 avatar
    3215 posts
    3 October 2021 in reply to JackFrost

    My GP here studied neuroscience before doing medicine. She said she was studying how ICE affects the brain to cause violent behaviour. It must be interesting!

    Do you have a thread Jack Frost as I feel like I'm hijacking Katy's thread! 🙂

    Hi Katy how are things? 🥀

    2 people found this helpful
  5. ecomama
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    4561 posts
    3 October 2021

    Hey Katy

    How are things going?

    Thinking of you
    Love EMxxxx

    1 person found this helpful
  6. Katyonthehamsterwheel
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    1565 posts
    4 October 2021 in reply to JackFrost

    Hi all

    JackFrost - it’s been nice just to have a breather (from rowing through sky hoops with that teaspoon lol). And yes, always easier to give advice, right? :) How are you getting along?

    Hi Hanna - have popped by your thread

    EM - nice to see you here. I’m a bit up and down. The thought of failing uni makes me feel like a failure. If I quit, I definitely fail though. If I stick with it, maybe I won’t. As humiliating and stressful as it is to do so. Either way I’m really close to the end at this point! I just don’t know how it will end :)

    How are you? I hope you’ve found some time for your garden. I spent a half day repotting some plants out the back and am looking forward to having more time to get my hands dirty. Also, noticed my passion fruit vine has its first flower of the season. It’s only a young vine so it’s pretty exciting :)

    Hugs, Katy

    1 person found this helpful
  7. Paw Prints
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    1648 posts
    4 October 2021 in reply to Katyonthehamsterwheel

    Hello Katy,

    I googled the new kangaroo paw... oh wow!!!!... I love it... what a gorgeous colour... & how wonderful that they weren't even trying to get that colour, but just cross breeding to improve the plant for home gardeners... I am a bit jealous though that it will be available to WA gardeners quite some time before we can get it here.

    Getting a plant for your desk for when you go back sounds very wise... something you can focus on to help you settle yourself whenever you feel wobbly.

    Yes Woofa does like kisses... fair warning though... once you start to show him attention he does not approve of you stopping for any reason before he is ready to stop... however many hours that takes... I'm sure the lovely Miss Storm is much more lady like & doesn't demand ongoing attention from unsuspecting visitors.

    Have you been managing to get out & about much with Stormy or have the regular cold fronts been too limiting?

    Stay warm

    Big hugs

    Paws

  8. Hanna3
    Hanna3 avatar
    3215 posts
    4 October 2021 in reply to Katyonthehamsterwheel

    Hi Katy

    I googled that kangaroo paw and it looks gorgeous!

    Dud you read the book Quiet and if so, how did you find it? Have you read anything by Stephanie Dowrick! Forgiveness and Other Acts of Love was good I read it years ago. I've met her several times and she's lovely.

    Hope you've had a reasonable day today. I'm soooo hoping we'll get out of lockdown in another week. Friends of mine up the coast got out of lockdown a few days ago and are suddenly back in lockdown tonight - you can't plan anything these days!

    🙂🐥💗🍧🍬🍵🏕️🏣🎾

  9. Katyonthehamsterwheel
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    1565 posts
    10 October 2021

    Four weeks til my thesis is due and it’s a mess! Like me lol. I do wish I’d had a less stressful year and was able to give it the attention it deserved. Oh well.

    Im also conscious that the two year anniversary of losing Z is approaching. I wish I wasn’t conscious of it. But there it is. Hopefully I’ll manage ok.

    All that aside, the day is lovely, and I’m going to garden a bit and walk my lovely girl.

    Ive not had time to read anything, Hanna. But I’m making a lovely long list for when I’m done :)

    Can’t wait!!!

    Katy 🌻

  10. Paw Prints
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    1648 posts
    10 October 2021 in reply to Katyonthehamsterwheel

    Hello Katy,

    How is Stormy today after her back legs went on strike yesterday?... I hope she is lying in the sun beside you getting some vitamin d as you potter in your garden...

    ok... 'fess up... what new plants have you got???? I still have a few of my new plants still to pot up... but I am tempted to get more for inside...

    Of course you are aware of the upcoming anniversary... just a gentle thought lass... rather than trying not to be so conscious of it... use this time to think of something special you can do to celebrate the love you will always have for her... it doesn't have to be anything big... just something that has meaning for you...

    Hugs

    Paws

  11. Hanna3
    Hanna3 avatar
    3215 posts
    10 October 2021 in reply to Katyonthehamsterwheel

    Hi Katy

    You sure are having a stressful year for sure but hopefully it'll all be worth it!

    How are Stormy's legs, poor thing!

    I agree with Paws that you do something meaningful for you for Zea's anniversary. Something just for you and her. 💞

    Keep soldiering on, you're doing great!

    🙂🍃🌼🌿💝🐳

  12. Katyonthehamsterwheel
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    1565 posts
    12 October 2021

    Hi there

    Well things at prac are more of a mess, darn it.

    But, on a great note, I saw my honours supervisor and she’s happy with how my thesis is coming along. So phew! Not such a mess after all ( maybe I’m also not such a mess!).

    Maybe the year won’t be one big crash n burn :)

    1 person found this helpful
  13. Sleepy21
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    4156 posts
    13 October 2021 in reply to Katyonthehamsterwheel
    Hi Katy, that's really cool news about ur thesis! It's not an easy feat at all, well done on that progress there girl x
    1 person found this helpful
  14. Hanna3
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    3215 posts
    13 October 2021 in reply to Katyonthehamsterwheel

    Hi Katy

    That's great news about the thesis! Well done you.

    Do you think you can pass the prac? How much longer to go?

    Sending big hugs 👍🐳🌹

    1 person found this helpful
  15. ecomama
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    4561 posts
    13 October 2021 in reply to Katyonthehamsterwheel

    Hey Katy,

    Wow that's great news about your supervisor approving of your thesis' progress! Congratulations and really well done!

    Getting there.... putting in TONS of work and inching towards your goal.

    I'm really proud of you and hope you're SUPER proud of yourself too!

    No one really ever knows how many hardships we have to overcome to see this kind of progress in our lives, I amongst many others here do. We can appreciate how difficult this road has been but you're almost there...

    Bestest wishes
    EMxxxx

    2 people found this helpful
  16. Paw Prints
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    1648 posts
    13 October 2021 in reply to Katyonthehamsterwheel

    Hello Katy,

    Yay you!! That must be such a lift having your supervisor happy about how your thesis is going...

    You have this lass... almost there!!... I think a giant pink lamington might be in order...

    How is the lovely Miss Storm doing?...

    Hugs

    Paws

    1 person found this helpful
  17. Katyonthehamsterwheel
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    1565 posts
    13 October 2021

    Thank you all so much for the support, encouragement and recognition!

    Im really not sure about passing prac still. I’ll have a better idea after I meet with my uni supervisor on Friday. For now I’m just doing my best to endure the stress of it all and not scream and hide.

    If I don’t get failed early, I will finish prac end of Nov/early Dec.

    Can’t wait for summer. Stormy needs to swim to improve her mobility, and I need some beach therapy!!!

    Thanks for being here. Big loves to you all x

    1 person found this helpful
  18. Hanna3
    Hanna3 avatar
    3215 posts
    14 October 2021 in reply to Katyonthehamsterwheel

    Hi Katy

    I wasn't sure what you meant earlier about prac being a mess, so very best wishes for the meeting tomorrow and let us know how you go. I think you always underestimate yourself so I hope it all turns out positive.

    That's great news about the thesis!

    Hang in there you can scream your lungs off when it's all over!

    🙂👍💝

    1 person found this helpful
  19. Katyonthehamsterwheel
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    1565 posts
    17 October 2021

    Anniversary day tomorrow. Already got a bit sad today. I’d love to have a me day and just do what feels comfortable, but I have prac, including two meetings with supervisors. I hope they go ok as I worry about yuk on top of yuk being too much yuk and I won’t want to explain to anyone.

    Funny, I still want that tattoo I wanted to remember her. If you guys were here I’d drag you to the tattoo shop with me and maybe I’d be brave enough to do it.

    sad Katy is sad

  20. Paw Prints
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    1648 posts
    17 October 2021 in reply to Katyonthehamsterwheel

    Hello Katy,

    Being sad is natural lass... I will keep you & Zea in my thoughts tomorrow...

    I wonder if perhaps you could take your sadness tomorrow & use it to remind yourself that Zea would want to support you to make it through everything you need to get done. The way you keep getting back on the horse despite taking tumbles is something any daughter would be proud of her mum for doing.

    Hugs

    Paws

  21. Hanna3
    Hanna3 avatar
    3215 posts
    17 October 2021 in reply to Katyonthehamsterwheel

    Hi Katy

    I'm sorry it's a sad day for you. Perhaps it's actually better you are busy... Iike what Paws has said about Zea. She wouldn't have wanted you to be miserable.

    Hugs from us here 💞

  22. Katyonthehamsterwheel
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    1565 posts
    21 October 2021

    Thanks for the support. The day went ok with a few tears.

    Tomorrow I have another big meeting with my three prac supervisors. I felt so sick I hardly slept last night, then was anxious all day today. By the time I knocked off and went to uni to get some tech support I felt ragged. The woman said “are you ok? Because you don’t look ok”. Lol. I’m not surprised.

    Fingers crossed tomorrow goes ok. Can’t wait til it’s over!

  23. Paw Prints
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    1648 posts
    21 October 2021 in reply to Katyonthehamsterwheel

    Hello Katy,

    Oh lass I'm so sorry you are struggling so much... I hope you can manage some sleep tonight... one thing I have noticed is how often you think you have done badly & you are always so surprised when it turns out you actually have done well... try to keep that in mind lass... the important thing is you have done the best you can...

    I will keep an eye out here lass if you need to talk

    Hugs

    Paws

  24. Hanna3
    Hanna3 avatar
    3215 posts
    22 October 2021 in reply to Katyonthehamsterwheel

    Hi Katy

    Sorry I'm having a lot of technical issues and haven't been able to get onto BB much. I hope today goes OK for you.. Best wishes 💟

  25. Paw Prints
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    1648 posts
    22 October 2021 in reply to Katyonthehamsterwheel

    Hello Katy,

    You have been in my thoughts all day... I really hope today went better than you were expecting...

    Sending you the huggliest of hugs

    Paws

  26. Hanna3
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    3215 posts
    22 October 2021 in reply to Katyonthehamsterwheel
    Just popping by to send best wishes Katy! 💞
  27. Katyonthehamsterwheel
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    1565 posts
    23 October 2021

    Hello

    Thanks so much for your supportive posts which I read but was too tired to reply to. 2/3 supervisors attended the meeting, which went ok. They seem to feel I’m on track to pass and asked what my plans are for when I finish. The answer: REST!!!

    Today - housework, decluttering, thesis, potting plants. Phew! But the sun is shining gloriously ☀️☀️☀️

    Warm hugs x

    1 person found this helpful
  28. Sleepy21
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    4156 posts
    23 October 2021 in reply to Katyonthehamsterwheel

    Hye Katy!

    I feel Ur relief...rest well deserved. Great news ! Xx

  29. Paw Prints
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    1648 posts
    23 October 2021 in reply to Katyonthehamsterwheel

    Hello Katy,

    Yayyy... that is great news... the end is in sight now lass... then you & Stormy can spend the summer out & about relaxing at the beach or where ever...

    Hugs

    Paws

  30. Hanna3
    Hanna3 avatar
    3215 posts
    23 October 2021 in reply to Katyonthehamsterwheel

    Hi Katy

    We'll that's all good, end of the year you should have your Hons and can have a well earned break and think about what you want to do next!

    Enjoy some relaxation today!

    🐈🐀🐮

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