New to the website and after seeing a poster in public today decided to join and air some thoughts.
Some triggers ahead. Please be careful and take care of yourself.
When I was a pre teen/teenager I used to self harm.
Couldn't tell you if it was because of being sexually abused and never really sharing it with anyone, the inability to deal with all the emotions that being a teenager brought on, my dad having an affair after giving into his gambling habits and losing us our car and home, my mother falling deep into a state of depression and alcoholism after my dads aforementioned affair... Also not really having a support network, never really talking to a professional (apart from a few sessions with a school therapist at age 10 but it was more because the school just knew home life was not good at that time)
I couldn't tell you which was the main cause, maybe all of it?
Fast forward 15 / 20 years and I'm happily married with our first child on the way, my husband is loving and kind... my parents got back together (though they will never be "okay" my mum's too bitter for that, which is fair enough) and my lil brother is a wonderful man - we all live together.
After became smoke free about 5 days ago and out of nowhere these feelings of self harm came flooding back.
Know should have been smoke free much sooner because of baby but did manage to cut down to 2 or 3 a day after finding out.
These urges shook me because no longer the angsty teen used to be, though by no means "healed" am in a totally different place now.
Understand it's a mixture of hormones and coming out of an addiction.
Today I thought about self-harm. But didn't.