You sound like you're a combination of wonderful (full of wonder) and a feeler (someone who feels just about everything). Being a gal who's a wonderful feeler myself, I can relate to how great this combo can be when life's going really well and also when life appears to be be mind altering and challenging in a dark and deeply confusing or disturbing kind of way. Two very different sides of the same coin you could say.
Can also relate to the need to drink. I used to be quite a drinker. Wondering if you can relate to it as being an emotional regulator to some degree. If I was upset, I'd drink to feel a sense of peace. If I felt low, I'd drink to feel high. Socially anxious, I'd drink to feel confident. Thinking too much, I'd drink to be more thoughtless. Long list, so I won't go on. When I came out of depression some years back, my brain and body suddenly just didn't like alcohol. It was weird. Just the smell of it would make me feel ill. Managing life without alcohol was what I was led to do. Under the circumstances, I was led to wonder more than ever before and I was led to question my feelings more than ever before. If I wanted to stay out of depression, there was no choice.
While alcohol is widely regarded as a depressant, I found it's also a bit of a suppressant too. Without it, every potentially depressing thing rises to the surface, to address. Whether we're facing the depressing feelings that are telling us we're in a destructive relationship we need to work through or get out of, whether we're facing a time of our life where we need to begin developing a solid circle of 'go to' people for help or general well being or whether we're facing a significant disruption to our body leading to low and debilitating levels of energy, we'll feel it all.
Chances are, if you're a champion in the way of feeling, what you could be feeling is something you've touched on. Maybe what you're feeling is a chemical imbalance. You could be spot on. In this case, choose your GP wisely. While one GP may dismiss your suspicions by saying something like 'Life is typically tough and exhausting for a mum. You're just going through a stage' (before sending you on your way, grrr), another may be just as wonderful as you. The wonderful one will also wonder about a possible chemical imbalance. I've found wonderful GPs are the best ones to have on your side. They're like medical detectives, always looking for clues.
'What are you feeling?' is the ultimate question :)