Thanks David - Not the term exactly, but yes the idea of victim sympathy. On reflection you make a point - my sympathyising could explain the anxiety, again it was an execution - public, domineering, no mercy.
I can't disclose my circumstances, but I had confidential line of conversation with the victim and was aware they were OK/could 'move on'. It was less the victim, more me mortified by the deplorable communistic selling-out of a friend after they'd confided in this flying monkey! It was shocking was how viciously the social structure operated and the power of control via the flying monkeys.
I don't feel victim sympathy for those remaining voluntarily nourished and brainwashed. Not only am i prohibited from attempting to explain to them as flying monkeys, but I don't see their cognition capable of complexity of the structure. Without that their only hope is relying on the moral compass of honestly. They have not done this for many many years, I mentioned in earlier posts this is one reason they are firmly brainwashed.
I agree your point we must first be honest internally, but with ourselves is the easy part. Its incredibly difficult/impossible to be honest about structural problems in these toxic dominance hierarchies.
Back to focus on the survivor. Take responsibility to look after yourself which is foremost being kind to yourself.
Get Clean - first of them (no/lowest contact) then of your addictions. Most of your addictions stem from them - a coping mechanism for stress in their dysfunctional environment.
Get yourself a new stable safe space, you only need 3-6 months of existing in a state of 'living clean' to re-gain your mental strength!
Manage your addictions out. You'll be amazed at the speed of progress, de-power some of the below within a month if you hold yourself hard to truth.
Don't drink to relieve stress - this is feeding addiction 'situational craving'! Replace Friday beers with alcohol free ones, or swap it out for lesser evils - sugar/caffinated drinks instead. Drink only on 'the day of rest'.
Get organized enough each morning to throw avocado, tomato, ham and cheese in a wrap(s) to negate a fast food lunch. Remove the facebook app from your phone and carry around a book again. Remove processed sugars from the pantry and replace desert with brazil nuts and dates. Replace news websites with your own private blog/diary, where all the content is good, relevant & documents your progress.
Also, Investigate 'mirroring' as was to ID NPD