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Forums / Suicidal thoughts and self-harm / The nights are the worst.

Topic: The nights are the worst.

  1. Pandemica
    Pandemica avatar
    57 posts
    23 February 2022 in reply to Ggrand

    Thanks Grandy,

    I like you also have awful trouble falling asleep. I have tried the sleep stories, Mindfulness and like you, sometimes they work and sometimes not. The last few nights I have also been trying out Yoga Nidra meditations (you can find them on YouTube) so far they seem to be working for me.

  2. Guest_1643
    blueVoices member
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Guest_1643 avatar
    4854 posts
    23 February 2022 in reply to Pandemica

    Hi pandemica, take care and judt saying hi to u

    With you in spirit

    1 person found this helpful
  3. Pandemica
    Pandemica avatar
    57 posts
    23 February 2022 in reply to Guest_1643

    Thanks Sleepy21,

    I am really lucky that I am working late for the next 5 days. Once I finish work, I only need to get through 1 hour of cravings before the bottle shop closes then it will be impossible for me to drink and I will have won the battle for today. That is.. until Tomorrow.

    1 person found this helpful
  4. Sophie_M
    Community Moderator
    • Works for beyondblue moderating these forums
    Sophie_M avatar
    6824 posts
    23 February 2022 in reply to Pandemica
    Hey pandemica,
    Thanks for reaching out tonight,

    We can hear your cravings for alcohol are overwhelming at the moment, but we can also hear you’re trying your best to manage these urges. Please know that you don’t have to do this alone if you don’t want to, there are support options available if you need help managing these cravings.

    If you feel comfortable you might like to speak with a Family Drug Support (FDS) counsellor, they can work with you to create a plan and put some support options in place to help you. The Family Drug Support service can be contacted on 1300 368 186 (available 24/7) and provides support and information to families, friends and carers of people who have problematic alcohol and other drug use across Australia.

    Please do keep us updated here on the forums and let us know how you’re managing,
     
    1 person found this helpful
  5. Pandemica
    Pandemica avatar
    57 posts
    23 February 2022 in reply to Sophie_M

    Thankyou Sophie,

    I really found the counciling online page to be very helpful. I will also try out the Family Drug support service when I feel ready.

    Meanwhile I have won today's battle, work just pleaded with me to stay back and do an OT so I will now be working through to tomorrow morning. Another 18hour shift. No chance of Drinking tonight that's for sure.

    1 person found this helpful
  6. Pandemica
    Pandemica avatar
    57 posts
    5 March 2022 in reply to Pandemica

    I am thinking that I might not be far off a hospital admission. Between needing to stop using Alcohol and constant harmful thoughts, I have researched a few hospitals that I think might be able to help me.

    My question is, when do you know its time? For me it will be a big deal as I will likely need to take a significant amount of time off work.

    I just need to stop feeling like this and my last and only hope is that an inpatient admission might be able to help me.

    1 person found this helpful
  7. Sophie_M
    Community Moderator
    • Works for beyondblue moderating these forums
    Sophie_M avatar
    6824 posts
    5 March 2022 in reply to Pandemica
    Dear Pandemica,

    This is such a brave and important post, and I have every faith that our Community Champions and your peers here on the Forum will want to rach out very soon. 

    We want to encourage you to back yourself in this moment, and so - from our perspective - if you already have done this research (which we are so proud of you for!) and if you are asking this question then its a pretty big hint that it is time! We hope this decision will lead to a long stretch of feeling safe, feeling cared for, feeling heard and most of all supported. This is one of those moments that truly leads to a long and healthy future and that is our hope for you!

    Thank you for having the courage to ask such an important question here - I have no doubt many others in our community have had to arrive at this sort of 'crunch' moment, and the answers we come up with together might help a LOT of people. 

    Reach out to us at anytime if we can help you in this important decision making, Pandemica, and thank you again for your bravery.

    Regards,

    Sophie M
    3 people found this helpful
  8. Guest_1643
    blueVoices member
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Guest_1643 avatar
    4854 posts
    5 March 2022 in reply to Pandemica

    Hi pandemics,

    My feelings about being hospitalised are hard to discuss here.

    I think if ppl close to u are suggesting it, that can be a good indicator, friends and family are my go to

    As my best friend always says, u can always leave.

    I know many can't leave, but if ur voluntary, it can be flexible

    For all the skills support and connections, although it can occasionally be a bad stay and even am awful stay, I still thi nm at times, hospital is the safest place. Sending a hug

    2 people found this helpful
  9. Petal22
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Petal22 avatar
    2128 posts
    5 March 2022 in reply to Pandemica

    Hi Pandemica,

    I think it’s great that you have done research in regards to hospitals that can help you.

    Have you been able to speak to anyone at the hospitals for their advice?

    I wish you all the best for your road ahead.

    1 person found this helpful
  10. Pandemica
    Pandemica avatar
    57 posts
    5 March 2022 in reply to Petal22

    I haven't spoken to anyone from the hospitals that I have chosen. I just want all this pain to end.

  11. Petal22
    Community Champion
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    Petal22 avatar
    2128 posts
    5 March 2022 in reply to Pandemica

    I understand Pandemica..

    I understand it’s very distressing dealing with horrible intrusive thoughts constantly…… it’s unrelenting…

    I just thought maybe if you spoke to the hospitals they could give you an idea of when it’s a good time to be admitted.

    Im here if you want to chat

    1 person found this helpful
  12. Guest_1643
    blueVoices member
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Guest_1643 avatar
    4854 posts
    5 March 2022 in reply to Pandemica

    Hi pandemica

    It can take a few weeks to get in, but once in I find they help a lot

    Can u put urself on their lists and get a referral...and if a bed comes available u can always say no

    The system, or systems overall, don't care too much about us, so we need to cover ourselves...if u can get a bed u can turn it down if u decide otherwise

    Re research u can also call the hospital and speak to someone...see if they seem nice...see if u feel they care..

    1 person found this helpful
  13. Pandemica
    Pandemica avatar
    57 posts
    7 March 2022

    Yes, the nights are the worst. I have beaten an eating disorder only ti inherit a drinking problem. I just wish that I could relax into the situation that I am in.

     

    Tried drive to the Gap today to look and take in the scenery. Unfortunately the rain was too heavy and I decided to return home. It was just too hard to drive. Hopefully I will be able to go to the Gap tomorrow without such awful weather.

    2 people found this helpful
  14. Pandemica
    Pandemica avatar
    57 posts
    7 March 2022
    Can I please just say A MASSIVE THANKYOU to beyond Blue! Such an amazing service. I received a phone call tonight from one of the team and I feel totally different after the call. I have really been at risk of late and feel that Beyond Blue has helped so so much. I am safe right now thankyou to beyond Blue for keeping me safe!
    2 people found this helpful
  15. Pandemica
    Pandemica avatar
    57 posts
    8 March 2022 in reply to Petal22
    I have never tried group therapy but I reckon I would like to try it
    2 people found this helpful
  16. Sophie_M
    Community Moderator
    • Works for beyondblue moderating these forums
    Sophie_M avatar
    6824 posts
    8 March 2022 in reply to Pandemica
    Hey Pandemica,

    Thank you for your lovely message last night. It means a lot to us that we were able to help you in a really difficult moment. 

    We are reaching out to you privately today, and we're glad you could share an update with us here this morning. If you'd like to reach out more directly, you are welcome to call us on 1300 22 4636 or reach us on webchat. We also recommend our amazing friends over at Lifeline, on 13 11 14, or online here. If you're unsafe or unable to avoid acting on throughts of self-harm or suicide, please call 000

    It's good to hear you're thinking about group therapy. Our friends over at Black Dog have a directory of support groups for mental health by state, here.

    Thanks again for reaching out, Pandemica. Please keep sharing whenever you feel comfortable to do so. Hopefully the community will spot your post and offer their support soon.

    Kind regards,

    Sophie M
    1 person found this helpful
  17. Petal22
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Petal22 avatar
    2128 posts
    8 March 2022 in reply to Pandemica

    Hi Pandemica,

    Id like to second Sophie M s post and say thank you for your beautiful message ❤️ I’m so glad that we have been able to help you.

    Yes I highly recommend group therapy, before I started my group therapy I was a little apprehensive but once I started it I soon realised that It was going to be life changing for me.

    I found that being in group therapy, I felt less alone I wasn’t the only one with the condition I had…. there were many others and the therapy we were all doing together was to reach the same goal.

    The therapy I did really changed my life because it taught me so many things, it gave me many tools and skills these tools and skills I learned I use every day in my life not only for the condition I had but for every day things…..

    It really opened my mind and I realised that just because I held certain perceptions and beliefs in that moment that didn’t mean they had to stay that way… I could challenge them and change them.

    I have a whole new out look on life after doing my therapy.

    Congratulations on beating a eating disorder I understand that would have taken a lot of courage and perseverance.

    I understand you now have a drinking problem but do you know what you can overcome this too.

    Sometimes in life we are given challenges I believe, and it’s when we are in the thick of those challenges we begin to really grow within ourselves and fly.

    You are a strong resilient person Pandemica and I believe with the correct help you will overcome these challenges and not only fly but soar like an eagle.

    Here to chat

    3 people found this helpful
  18. Pandemica
    Pandemica avatar
    57 posts
    14 March 2022

    Well after a really turbulent few weeks I have finally started to take some positive steps. I went to my first AA meeting, and most importantly I got a referral for an inpatient admission. I rang the hospital this afternoon and they have accepted me. Looks like I will be going in on 4th April. It seems strange but just having done these two things has lifted my mood a little, now I feel that there is actually some hope for the future and that I may potentially get relief from this horrible illness rather than seeing my situation as being absolutely hopeless.

  19. Sophie_M
    Community Moderator
    • Works for beyondblue moderating these forums
    Sophie_M avatar
    6824 posts
    14 March 2022 in reply to Pandemica
    Hi Pandemica!

    Just a quick word from myself and the team here to say that we are extremely pleased with this news, and you have every right to be very proud of yourself. Starting the next steps on any journey can genuinely be a bit of a mood lift, we are excited to here that you are getting exactly that benefit!

    Keep moving towards the hope! Well Done!

    Regards,

    Sophie M
    3 people found this helpful
  20. Petal22
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Petal22 avatar
    2128 posts
    14 March 2022 in reply to Pandemica

    Hi Pandemica,

    I just wanted to say congratulations! This is wonderful news.

    You are moving forward with such courageous steps………

    Your on your journey and it’s a journey that will take you to places and outcomes that can’t be explained……..

    I know that your going to be strong enough to come out the other side of the tunnel a newer stronger version of your self.

    Hold onto your hope because it’s hope that will keep you moving forward. ❤️

    I wish you all the best….. we are always here and we’d love to hear of your progress.

  21. mmMekitty
    Valued Contributor
    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
    mmMekitty avatar
    3895 posts
    15 March 2022 in reply to Pandemica

    Hi Pandemica,

    I haven't caught up on everything - you are really achieving a lot! This next change is such good news, too. I am glad you have taken time to research & plan ahead. You have learned so much along the path you have taken to get here. You have many skills & tools you can put to use.

    Go for it - & all my best hopes are with you.

    mmMekitty

  22. NonStampCollectorFan
    NonStampCollectorFan avatar
    10 posts
    24 April 2022 in reply to Pandemica
    The radio station (on the TV) "SBS CHILL" is quite soothing. Nice music, no lyrics (most of the time) and hardly any adverts. Though you might have to tinker with your TV display settings. (Ive got burn-in on my tv saying "radio station") :)
  23. mmMekitty
    Valued Contributor
    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
    mmMekitty avatar
    3895 posts
    24 April 2022 in reply to Pandemica

    Hi & how are you, Pandemica? I want to remind you, people here are thinking of you, wishing you all our best, 😺 along this very difficult journey you're on.

    mmMekitty

  24. Chris_Tas
    Chris_Tas avatar
    267 posts
    26 April 2022 in reply to Pandemica

    Night time scares me.

    However lamp light on, TV on mute helps me.

    Regardless of what measure you take, take A measure/s that works for you.

    AA was not for me (I'm a recovering alcoholic), however you may find it works as many do.

    Good luck as you're doing extremely well.

    Chris

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