Hi all.

I've been suicidal for quite a while and I know it's excruciatingly difficult.

My 15 hospital visits in a two year period with 4 intake to the acute (voluntary) mental health ward suggests I might know a bit about it. I'd like to think so anyway.

What I'd like to do (if moderators allow) is for each and every one of you on here who is suicidal, has been suicidal, might become suicidal - to please name and list your coping mechanisms.

The reason I am starting this thread is because the standard "mental health plan" via Drs didn't work for me (I still encourage others to do it definitely) and had to make my own plans that suited me.

I'll start and I hope others contribute as this isn't about me, it's about what we can share to help others in that moment (yes, anyone suicidal knows that moment)

I personally now:

1. put a light on if it's dark. Darkness scares me. If I feel panic the light is on immediately.

2. put a movie on. Even if it's 5am like now it goes on to distract me and even searching for a movie helps

3. plan a new hobby. Even if it doesn't eventuate, just getting excited on something other than self misery helps me. I've planned many overseas trips that haven't eventuated but it helped me.

4. never respond or engage with toxic people. Whether it be social media, family (in my case) or friends. If not positive or understand to a basic level leave it immediately - this takes courage and harsh, but if they are toxic they are no good for you.

5. financially ease your burden as much as possible. Unless a millionaire we all struggle, but paying for things you don't need causes further stress. Cut them and put money elsewhere or save.

That's just my 5 for now but I'd love to hear more on how you have coped.

I'm still a massive work in progress and we are all learning together.

Chris

6. My apologies all as I've been wheelchair bound i forgot exercise.

No it's certainly no magic bullet like many claim ("just go for a walk"....so frustrating) but worth keeping it as part of your routine if possible.

Even 15min walk around the block at lunch is better than nothing.

There are some good ideas there. I also make sure I have my finances in as much order as possible. Having some money for emergencies is esential for my peace of mind.

To add to what you said: I like to remind myself that these feelings and the situation will pass eventually. Even when it feels like it won't.

Finally, I try and be logical about what is making my life impossible and make a plan to get out. Sometimes it takes a lot of strength to start and carry through but having a goal helps.

Hi Karen.

Yes that is excellent advice on "feelings will pass" as it's exactly what I suggested last night.

It's hard at the time to rationalise that but it certainly does help (me at least).

Yes having goals to achieve and look forward to is to promote positive thinking.

When or if others posts occur I'll compile a list as whilst similar literature exists, getting feedback from real experiences far outweighs what a textbook reads imho.

Thank you again Karen

I login and read here.

I think of the beautiful people that I have lost to suicide as much as this hurts.

I spend the day crying and let out my grief.

I think about the terrible grief and trauma that I may cause my loved ones if I were to take my own life.

I never ever want anyone to feel this pain as painful as it is, I keep going. Taking things day by day.

Hi Fiatlux, 

Thank you for your post today to the Beyond Blue forums, we can hear that you are experiencing some intense feelings around your grief and potential suicidal thoughts. We can only imagine how you are feeling at the moment, but want you to know that we are here for you if you need support. 

If you ever feel unsafe, it is important that you call 000 straight away to get support. 

You can also call us anytime on 1300 22 4636 to chat with our friendly and welcoming team. They are experts in supporting people who are feeling distressed with practical strategies in the moment, as well as ways to get ongoing help. You can also try out webchat if a phone call feels like too much.

Thank you again for your post. We can see that you are offering great support on this thread. We hope others can see your post and feel less alone in their own experience. 

Kind regards, 
Sophie M

i try to use the 3-day-rule. i give myself 3 days, and i tell myself that if anything, no matter how small or insignificant it might seem, helps me feel like life is worth living, i start the 3 days again.

i have bpd, so i'm prone to pretty rapid moodswings and acting on impulse/making destructive decisions, and this rule helps me manage them and usually think with a clearer head. i hope it can help you too :)

agreed with everyone here - i take it day by day

I chuck my 2 cent rant on another thread - be strong, have courage. I dont know if this vido helps but it seems to be in the right place.

Jim Carrey - The Toxic Ego That Will Ruin Your Life https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_N32V9oz6lI

Yes that's brilliant advice.

Advice of which I wish I knew when in my worst state. (panicked massively and not thinking clearly at all)

Giving yourself that period of time to at least process what is going on to a certain level has been invaluable.

Easier said than done but yes it's spot on.

When at my worst "another day" frightened me to higher levels but rationalising it to a longer term than a day helped me (just me of course).

Think regardless of a day or 3 etc, the key is to seperate your (extremely intense) feelings AT THAT MOMENT to a later time of whatever length, even an hour, that it can and will change.

Thanks and hopefully we can get more tips to help us all cope and succeed.

Chris

I'm hoping more people can contribute here but no worries if not.

Another way I've found very useful for me is to test the information provided to me.

As a lawyer (who cares, it's just a job) it has however trained me to be untrustworthy of what hear.

Now this isn't necessarily a good thing, all medical professionals deserve respect, but in the mental health field I've found extreme differences in views.

In Maths - 2 plus 2 = 4.

In Mental Health - no such exact outcome exists and i encourage everyone to seek what works for you, of it means a complete change in medical help then please consider it.

Here saved my life, but that's different to what I'm suggesting.

Please be open minded is all I'm saying, and if it doesn't feel right then back yourself in - everyone here deserves the very best care possible.

Chris

Hi Chris_Tas,

Thanks for creating this thread and for sharing your advice, I'm sure many people will find this helpful.

I wanted to also add here there is an app called ReMinder where people can make a suicide safety plan which might include using some of these tips, as well as getting help from someone they trust or calling a helpline.

In my hardest moments, I turn to guided meditation tracks to both distract me and relax my nerves.

Thank you and I sincerely hope it has helped you in a positive way.

I've never heard of the  App you mention.  

 

Hi Chris_Tas  

Thank you for your post today to the Beyond Blue forums. Suicide safety plan apps are used to make a step-by-step plan to help a person stay safe when they feel overwhelmed with thoughts of suicide. A safety plan can reduce the intensity of suicidal thoughts and increase a person’s ability to cope.  

Our Beyond Blue website has information about the Beyond Now – Suicide Safety Planning app here: https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/beyondnow-suicide-safety-planning   The ReMinder app mentioned by Banksy92 is from our friends at the Suicide Call Back Service. You can find further information here: https://www.suicidecallbackservice.org.au/feeling-suicidal/reminder-suicide-safety-plan-updated/

Thank you again for reaching out to this supportive community.  

Warm regards  

Sophie M

I understand, thanks for passing on the information.

My apologies I was unaware, as it wasn't my intention to discuss apps.

More like a personal plan or actions, rather than an generic one was my aim.

Hopefully someone got some help out of my tips as if you've read my thread (which I know you have) I'm using them right now.

(movie on, light on, as far too upset to just "go to sleep") However it really works and I wish I knew this beforehand.

All fine and sorry again.

I have found another.

When in need, RING your best friends.

You'll be amazed how friends respond and how much it helps.