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Forums / Suicidal thoughts and self-harm / Unsure what to do

Topic: Unsure what to do

7 posts, 0 answered
  1. seuss5
    seuss5 avatar
    222 posts
    5 December 2018

    I really did not know which thread to post this in, but this seemed the most appropriate.

    I have been out of a job for 6 months now. Regret leaving my last job. As much as I hated the environment, I loved the actual, and now getting back in is nigh on impossible. I mainly left because I started my Masters in Teaching and my manager was not willing to accommodate me and after the way I had been treated and the culture, I had no choice.

    However, it has been 6 months without a job. I can't seem to get a job anywhere. Money saved up is dwindling. Centrelink is not enough. Depression is coming back ten fold because of all this, and so have the suicidal thoughts. I have hit a crossroads though.

    I have a job offer. The problem is that it is a 5 day a week, 8 hour day job, and it is dealing with very sensitive and emotional topics. They have emphasised that it is a very high emotional toll role, and being able to deal with it is very important. They have told us about learning ways to deal with stress, and emotion, and to figure out routines for being able to detach from the role in that sense so that we do not show the compassion side when dealing with customers. It starts next month, and I have been offered it, but not sure I want it. Based on what they have said about the emotional side of things, and with my history of depression, I am not sure it is the best fit for me.

    In saying that, I am going crazy without a job, and am becoming a little desperate to have one. No one seems to be able to help me find a job, and I seem to spend my time pretty much refreshing job websites every day trying to find something.

    I don't really know what to do. Not sure I want that emotional turmoil on a daily basis for a pretty much base salary.

  2. Star Jasmine
    Star Jasmine avatar
    38 posts
    6 December 2018 in reply to seuss5

    Hey Suess5,

    I hear you, it's hard to get a job when you are unemployed.

    Also I feel for you and your situation. But you shouldn't regret leaving your last job. You obviously did it for a reason which was mainly to advance your career by doing a Master's in Teaching? How are your studies going?

    Its good that you have a job offer but I can see why you're hesitant about it. If you are in a full time job, especially one that is emotionally demanding, will you be able to focus on your studies?

    Having said that, you could always accept the job and see how it goes. There is no reason why you couldn't just leave if it doesn't suit you.

    Perhaps you could write a list of pros and cons about this job, which might help you decide?

    By the way, are you seeking professional help for the depression and suicidal thoughts? Please make sure you reach out for help if you need it.

    Wishing you all the best in your decision. Would be great to hear back from you.

    Star Jasmine

  3. Croix
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    Croix avatar
    5936 posts
    6 December 2018 in reply to seuss5

    Dear Seuss5~

    I can understand your dilemma, and I guess an awful lot comes down to the way the job is run. While you do not specify what it is one could look at some that do fit that description.

    Answering a crisis line would be one. Chasing debts in a call center might be another.

    In any job where there is a likelihood that the workers will face adverse effects of any sort it is the duty of the employer to do whatever is reasonable to maintain their well-being. So I guess you have to form a judgment about what provisions are in place.

    If you take a crisis line some organizations train their operators over a year, have mentoring and peers support to hand and keep an eye on their workers always.

    Other firms simply have high staff turnover. I note you said "They have told us about ...". Does that mean high staff turnover?

    Croix

    1 person found this helpful
  4. seuss5
    seuss5 avatar
    222 posts
    6 December 2018 in reply to Croix

    Hi Croix

    Thanks for the response. I don't want to name the place because I don't feel it's fair to give them a bad name purely because it might be a job that does not suit me, but could suit someone else.

    You make a valid point about the provisions in place. I am a little wary they may not be much in place. They spoke a lot about how we would look after ourselves in high pressure situations, and what we do to relax and if we have good ways of de-stressing. They even said, "If you don't have anything now, we recommend finding some strategies".

    Yeah, there is a few roles available so I'm not sure if it's just that they need extra staff or a few staff have left the role.

    It's a very difficult one because I do not know if this kind of a job is something that would be advised for someone who struggles with depression (I have had returns of suicidal thoughts lately, and been very very down of late). I know a lot of my depression is caused by the lack of income and wondering why no one wants to higher me, or can't find a job. Then I am torn with whether that means I should just take the first thing for that financial security and to ease that worry, regardless of the toll it may take.

  5. seuss5
    seuss5 avatar
    222 posts
    7 December 2018 in reply to Star Jasmine

    Hi Jasmine

    So sorry I missed your post.

    That is one of my other concerns. If I am too emotionally drained by the job, will I be able to focus on my studies. I did think about accepting the job and seeing how it goes, but it has a 7 week training period, so I don't think I'll get an understanding of the job until I at least start, which would be about 2-3 months in.

    I have sought help for my depression and such, and it has helped to a degree. I have stopped seeing the counsellor for now as I just don't seem to be seeing too much other benefit, and without a job, it is becoming hard to start affording all these things.

  6. Star Jasmine
    Star Jasmine avatar
    38 posts
    7 December 2018 in reply to seuss5

    Hi again Suess,

    You are definitely in a tricky situation here...

    My two cents:

    You said your depression is mainly caused by not having a job. So to me it would make sense to take this job and see how it goes. You can always leave or just keep looking for other jobs while you're doing the training there. At least you'll be getting paid and getting out of the house for a while! I imagine you are on summer break from uni at the moment anyway?

    What do you think?

    Star Jasmine

  7. Croix
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    Croix avatar
    5936 posts
    8 December 2018 in reply to seuss5

    Dear Seuss5~

    I agree with Star Jasmine that if the corrosive environment of job seeking is getting you down to the point of thinking of killing yourself then trying this alternative at least seems logical.

    Mind you that is only part of the story,

    Learning coping skills to help you get through tough times, not just no-job, is essential. And if you are like me professional medical help is very necessary. May I suggest that if you have not already done so you see you GP? Talk about your thoughts of killing yourself. A difficult subject to raise - I know - however to get the correct treatment it needs to be done.

    In passing I'll say being without work is a horrible place to be in and human nature being what it is there is an overwhelming need to blame oneself. Utter rubbish of course, it is location, lack of jobs, too many needing them, and all the other pitfalls of modern society.

    If I look at my own feelings at a particular job I think one of my major mistakes was not having an exit strategy planned and the whole thing being open ended with no seeming possibility of stopping. This creates huge pressure, one gets trapped.

    I would suggest that you plan so that so that if you take the job and things are getting harmful you have already decided to leave - and do so. It just needs a pre-determined set of circumstances to occur.

    As an example if when getting the job thoughts of suicide go away but later on start to recur then quit. Try to get a medical opinion to back you up, but quit - and don't take too long hoping you can soldier on, it is not worth it - that was a mistake I made.

    Having said all that I do worry that the job might be unsuitable. If the employer stresses self-care so much right at the outset without also stressing comprehensive in-house resources to look after staff and an employment screening service I'd be very wary.

    Please let me know what you think

    Croix

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