thank you for taking the time to read my story and help out a little, it's greatly appreciated. Thankfully, I'm safe and still here at the moment, I ended up going to the hospital after self-harming. They kept me overnight for observation and I'm still there at the moment. I'm glad I realized what I was doing, and went for help.
I just wish I didn't feel this way anymore, I hate it so much. I know it's not my fault he died, but while I saw sleeping, I had a nightmare again and I saw him. He was screaming at me, telling me it was my fault, that he hated me and is glad he doesn't have to see me ever again. I know it was all in my head, but it felt so real.
I shouldn't be thinking this way, I know it, I should be thinking about graduating and getting to the end of the year. I know that if I die, I won't be able to keep up with my Harry Potter collection, I just started last year around this time (Funko Pops mainly), and I currently have, in order,: Harry Potter, Ron Weasley, Hermione Granger, Severus Snape, Lord Voldemort, Sirius Black, Luna Lovegood with Lion Head, Rubeus Hagrid with birthday cake, Igor Karkaroff, Fred and George Weasley Yule Ball edition, Padma and Parvati Yule Ball edition, Ron Weasley puking slugs edition, Ron Weasley at Quidditch World Cup edition, Hermione Granger Holiday edition.
Overall, I have so far spent over $400 easily, with many more to come in the future. I also have the paperback copy of the Tales of Beedle the Bard, 6 Harry Potter related mugs, a crochet Ron Weasley, 3 notebooks, a timeturner, miniature Dobby, miniature Hogwarts, Quidditch set, several hand-made potions, the Jim Kay illustrated copy of the Philosophers Stone, hand-made scarves, pillows and blanket. And several paintings of my own design.
Thank you for taking the time to read this (if you do)