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Forums / Suicidal thoughts and self-harm / What helps me/us/you survive, discussion welcome: Please DO REPLY.

Topic: What helps me/us/you survive, discussion welcome: Please DO REPLY.

9 posts, 0 answered
  1. Guest9337
    Guest9337 avatar
    1001 posts
    9 July 2021

    G'day everyone - party hard and welcome to this thread, I hope you find something useful here, or share something useful too.

    11.52 am 9/7/2021, I am safe, I've got shelter, warmth, food and water, friends and family and good dogs!

    But really I am not safe because if centrelink is ever to cut my benefits, I would rapidly become broke, unable to pay for food/water/shelter or medical expenses. So every time centrelink sends out one of their letters about request for information and informs me of consequences under social policy acts, they inadvertently threaten my very survival. So I snap to, and do exactly what they say I must do. I am centrelinks' slave to their paperwork. They think they're helping but really every communication from them to me is painful. I need their money, not their BS.

    So every once in a while, for whatever reason I find I am nearly unable to cope and I've got to stand up and say "I can't do this any more" and in my experience, the only language that centrelink understands and acts upon is expressions about ideation of suicide. And, nope I don't set about to make up my feelings regarding suicide, I seek to more clearly define them and share them with complete utter strangers who have no idea.

    Now I'll give advice to beyondblue. Every time bb send me a do-not-reply email, I absolutely hate that! Stop it! Feel free to contact me, but stop sending me do not reply emails. That's what centrelink does, it demands things, threatens things and says "do not reply"!

    Do not reply is the poorest of communications. It is a power imbalance, do not reply intensifies isolation. Do not reply makes me feel violent! Damn that feeling. Damn that language.

    I remain safe, my wife is next to me, she's safe too.

    beyondblue is a good place, pretty much the only forum where I feel comfortable sharing these things online. Thanks for listening.

    So I ask others:

    What power or benefit can you gain from these unpleasant thoughts? This is a question about surviving and really needs consideration.

  2. Sophie_M
    Community Moderator
    • Works for beyondblue moderating these forums
    Sophie_M avatar
    6652 posts
    9 July 2021 in reply to Guest9337
    Hi david'n'goliath, 

    Thank you for this feedback about the "do not reply" email - we completely agree and want to apologise for our error. We intended to use an email to which you could respond but due to a mistake the other email was used. We are sorry this has caused distress and we have reached our privately as well to say this. 

    Thank you for taking the time to give us advice, these forums are run for you and the rest of the community and so any chance to improve is something we take seriously. 

    Thank you for saying that you are safe, we are very happy to hear that. As a reminded, we are always here is you want a chat on 1300 22 4636 or you can call our friends at Lifeline on 13 11 14. 

    Than kyou for being an engaged member of the community and for all the support you offer. It takes courage to post here and we hope you know the impact that your posts can have on those who read them. You never know who will read your story and feel less alone in their own struggle. 

    Kind reagrds ,
    Sophie M
    1 person found this helpful
  3. Guest9337
    Guest9337 avatar
    1001 posts
    9 July 2021 in reply to Sophie_M

    Well that got both my wife and I crying.

    Thanks for acceptance.

    1 person found this helpful
  4. PamelaR
    Champion Alumni
    • Community champion volunteers who are not currently active on the forums.
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    PamelaR avatar
    2740 posts
    9 July 2021 in reply to Guest9337

    Hi David'n'Goliath

    I like your post. Thanks for sharing. Also good to hear you and your wife are safe.

    That email 'do not reply' is horrible. It hits me in my guts. You're left thinking, but I want to respond - how do I do that. It's like they've closed the doors on you and you're not welcome. Having said that I don't think that's the intent of the email, though it doesn't help the receiver of it. Quite frequently I have responded without realising until I get another email to tell me it won't be responded to.....

    It's feels like being controlled by an unseen bureaucratic hand (not even a person) that has no understanding of what you are living through. Thinking this through, many of those types of emails are generated through a computer and not sent by a human. I talking specifically about those from Centrelink (not those that come from BB - not sure about those). For me it's a way of dehumanising the service. The service providers can step back and not feel anything about those whose lives they control. Having said that, I'm not sure that is how it set out to be. Being a retired public servant, I know we were always trying to find ways to manage our workloads with little resources. I personally was responsible for trying to find ways to streamline processes to make things easier for us on the inside (lets not worry about how the others felt). All I can say is thankfully all my clients were public servants too - but in hindsight, they are humans too.

    Not sure how if this helps at all.

    Kind regards


    1 person found this helpful
  5. Guest9337
    Guest9337 avatar
    1001 posts
    9 July 2021 in reply to PamelaR

    The best real help possible would be to lobby your local politician for a Universal Basic Income.

    Centrelink has forgotten it is fundamentally about keeping people alive, disguised such a simple ideal with legal/politico speak about finding work, or providing support, or assisting disabled. Benefits keep people alive, really is that simple.

    PamelaR, just writing here to me helped a bit on the inside, thanks.

    How I survive is to write letters. They've all got complaints departments we can contact, so I use them... I complain to the departments and institutions and I reveal what they do to me and I point out how their own stated ethics or procedures can improve, or aren't meeting needs of people.

    So yeh, that's how I aim my anger, I aim it at injustice, at whatever attempts to silence people.

    Gandhi is my kind of hero, imagine kicking the british out of india, at the height of the british empire, all without firing a shot! Just epic stuff. You can bet he channeled his anger.

  6. Guest_1055
    Guest_1055 avatar
    7654 posts
    9 July 2021 in reply to Guest9337
    Absolutely love your honesty david"n"goliath. I find it refreshing. Thankyou
    1 person found this helpful
  7. Guest9337
    Guest9337 avatar
    1001 posts
    9 July 2021 in reply to Guest_1055

    Thanks Shelll.

    I see you have 7000+ posts here, that's dedicated forumming.

    1 person found this helpful
  8. Katyonthehamsterwheel
    Valued Contributor
    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
    Katyonthehamsterwheel avatar
    1676 posts
    9 July 2021 in reply to Guest9337

    I read this post while taking a break from a book I’m reading about our broken systems, and how what’s missing from them is relationships. I’ve been bawling my way through it, so your post is quite relevant. I too have difficulty trying to keep up with C/L demands, and feel at constant risk of being cut off. I often wonder how many people have just “given up”.

    I’m glad you feel comfortable posting here. I often see your insightful supportive posts about the forum and am appreciative of you being here. Here, is where we find relationships that are missing out there. Thankyou

  9. Guest9337
    Guest9337 avatar
    1001 posts
    9 July 2021 in reply to Katyonthehamsterwheel

    G'day Katyonthehamsterwheel,

    Epic avatar name! Thanks for reaching out to me.

    When I think of 600,000 unemployed people receiving 20 rejections a month whilst looking for work, compounded by C/L's demands and threats to cease benefits...

    Like that is an epic amount of harm being done by a system that has at its core the ethic of not doing harm.

    Check the Australian Constitution, benefits are written into it. Benefits aren't some privilege to be deserved, they are a fundamental right to life, enshrined into the very fabric of society yet ignored and belittled, stigmatised by the rich and middle class alike.

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