Ellie I'm a teenager too, I get the whole self esteem thing. It will pass, it's just because we have so many hormones flying around in our bodies.
I have hurt people too. And I am very good at apologising. Too good.
okay so the pretending to be drunk thing... You were just trying to fit in. But, myself think of it this way: You weren't actually drunk. If you're underage, then that's awesome, I'm guessing you would have been surrounded by people off their faces. You made a good choice not to drink. Good on you 👍
if you really love this guy then of course you would choose him. If your friend has a crush on him, well, it's just a crush right? But then again, this could cause some major conflict between you two.
If you have a playful, slightly flirty nature, then that's who you are. There's nothing wrong with that. And no, you didn't ask for it. What they did it's their choice. And I'm sorry about the sexual harassment. That is a big no no.
if those people invited you to a party, then go. It's not as if you have to bring your friend. These new people see obviously friends or whatever, you don't need to bring your friend if she wasn't invited.
If your other friend who pretended to get drunk lied and spread rumours that you pressured her into drinking, then I don't think she's a very good friend. It's not like she even said it when she was drunk, because she wasn't! I think that losing her as a friend was for the best. Someone like that is toxic. And having someone toxic around isn't good.
So am I a good person? I think so, but sometimes. When I'm suicidal- heck no. But the rest of the time, i guess so. What about you?
hope you have a good day, if you're still on school holidays enjoy then we only have a week left (or just over).