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Topic: Advice needed caring for 22yr old son

7 posts, 0 answered
  1. Mothership
    Mothership avatar
    5 posts
    12 August 2021
    My son and me live I'm a small country town, my son is autistic anxiety and depression recovering from cancer and is gay. He has isolated himself especially since covid, won't leave the house alone. I myself is very sick, pain conditions, anxiety which affects his moods, when I'm depressed he'll be depressed visaversa,
  2. SarahElise
    SarahElise avatar
    2 posts
    13 August 2021 in reply to Mothership
    Sending you love. Sounds roughy but you are not alone. I’ll pray for you.
  3. geoff
    Life Member
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    geoff avatar
    15102 posts
    13 August 2021 in reply to Mothership

    Hello Mothership, a very warm welcome to you and thanks for posting your comment, which unfortunately is a sad one, and it takes a great effort to decide to make a comment, but pleased you have.

    It's so easy when two people live together like you are, that as soon as one becomes dejected for any reason, then the other feels exactly the same, especially in a small country town as your resources seem to be limited.

    It must be awful that your son has had cancer and recovering from it is not easy, not only for him but also for you, but wonder if his sexuality is a concern for you, as it shouldn't be these days as he's entitled to believe how he wants to be and probably no matter how hard you try, you won't be able to change how he thinks, the main worry is that he can overcome this cancer, and if he is able to, then that's positive.

    Although I'm not a doctor, both anxiety and depression are related and one day one may be more dominant than the other, whereas the opposite may happen the next day, but it's something you can't predict and while you may have depression, he could be anxious, but it's trying to understand, why and how these two illnesses work.

    If you can we'd love to hear back from you, when you feel as though you're able to.

    Geoff.

    1 person found this helpful
  4. Mothership
    Mothership avatar
    5 posts
    30 August 2021 in reply to geoff

    Hi, we are in lockdown on the border of nsw and Vic, my son is extra stressed at present, I'm trying to get him to talk to someone, or get him to the doctors, he's worried his cancer has come back, so tomorrow I'll get to get his blood tests, (he gets tests before seeing oncologist) so hoping it's clear, may calm his mood down,

    About him being gay, I have no problems with that, I'm hopeful he'll find a partner or at least friends, won't happen here in this town,

    He plays games on the net, and has game friends, plays with his brother who is in Brisbane and his nieces in Hobart, and he is on the phone to them most nights,

  5. geoff
    Life Member
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    geoff avatar
    15102 posts
    31 August 2021 in reply to Mothership

    Hello Mothership, can I ask what are his greatest worries at the moment, and know that there are two you've mentioned, but does one take priority over the other.

    There is much going on for him as well as for you, and I'm really sorry.

    Geoff.

  6. Mothership
    Mothership avatar
    5 posts
    2 September 2021 in reply to geoff

    Hi,

    Mainly scared of getting cancer again,

    He has difficulty going out by himself around people,

    He worries about his future as he didn't go to high school much, tried distance Ed, can't go to work, or tafe because of anxiety,

    M

  7. geoff
    Life Member
    • Life membership is awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    geoff avatar
    15102 posts
    2 September 2021 in reply to Mothership

    Hello Mothership, I'm sure his fear of getting cancer again would terrify anyone and surely this would override everything else he has to face.

    Is it possible to know whether or not his friends know that he's gay, if any of them were decent people, they shouldn't be worried, but this might not change how your son feels and could be very self conscious, and I'm not a doctor, but could I suggest social anxiety.

    If he and you could look at this site https://www.abc.net.au>everyday>queer-and-lgbtqi-support, I hope if you can copy and paste this it will work, otherwise, look at 'where can gays get the help they need in aus' that link is on this website.

    If you can please get back to us, then we want to help him as well as yourself, and can I suggest you book an appointment for yourself with your doctor, but please let us know.

    Best wishes.

    Geoff.

    1 person found this helpful

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