I (22F) have been with my boyfriend (25M) for around 10 months now.
Early into our relationship I noticed after drinking, he would completely change into a different person - yell at me, swear and verbally abuse me, become aggressive and punch things (never me) and would hear things and talk to himself and constantly repeat himself. It later turned out that he was in psychosis set off by certain types of alcohol. The first time dealing with this was very hard and confronting. However, I tried to be patient and understand as he is obviously mentally unwell. This is also a reason he has been in trouble with the law so many times - he will go into psychosis and cannot be stopped easily. He doesn't remember anything the next day and is always feels horrible and is very down for a few days afterwards.
As time went on, he went into psychosis quite a bit and in front of my friends, who were very worried and didn't want me around him anymore. He decided to quit drinking for about 4 months and his psychosis stopped and he went to see a mental health professional. He slowly started introducing small amounts of alcohol back in but only beer, not hard liquor. Until he got too confident and drank more and more. Last week, he went into psychosis again, in public, and verbally abused me in front of everyone again. It was embarrassing and so disappointing it happened again. This is the sixth time its happened in 10 months...
I love him so much and he is willing to address his past traumas that have caused this and stop drinking completely again. However, it is really starting to affect my mental health - the verbal abuse I take when he is in this state is really distressing and he doesn't even remember. He thinks I should break up with him because he doesn't think I deserve this, which I don't, but I understand mental illnesses and I know he cannot help it sometimes. But, when do I draw the line? Do I risk putting up with this for my whole life?
I'm not as happy as I once was... I fear if no real change is made, I am just wasting my time trying to make him better. What's to say he won't drink at our wedding, for example, and he goes into psychosis in front of all my family?
I'm not sure what to do.