Online forums

Before you can post or reply in these forums, please complete your profile

Complete your profile

Before you can post or reply in these forums, please join our online community.

Forum membership is open to anyone residing in Australia.

Join the online community Community rules Coping during the Coronavirus outbreak

Topic: Depression and Longterm Relationships

5 posts, 0 answered
  1. Widow of Depression
    Widow of Depression avatar
    2 posts
    29 December 2017

    Hi,

    I am new to beyondblue and these forums, so here is a brief overview of me and my battles. I am nearly 25, engaged to the love of my life for 4years now, we have both had our battles with mental health, mine past and his present. He helped me through a very difficult stage in my life when i was diagnoised with endometriosis, had surgery and then dealt with the depression and anxiety that followed. I would not have made it without his love and support.

    Now its my turn to be the care giver, i am struggling to help him and maintain myself. He was diagnosed with depression earlier this year, tried medication but had violent side effects, tried herbal remedies with success but then stopped taking them. The bad episodes are not consistent, they happen at anytime even without know cause.

    Latest episode started December 24th and is still ongoing, he has shut me out, we dont communicate. Occasionally he has broken out of this for 1hr or so and everything has seemed normal and then dives straight back into that dark zone.

    I have no idea what to do now that he is not communicating with me. Should i push him into counselling, will he get angry if i push him towards help?

    In the past we had to wait for him to decide to get help. I dont think i can mentally or physically handle waiting for him to come to the decision himself.

    Had thought of giving him some self help reading material but he doesnt like reading.

    I am tired, anxious and desperate for change.

    2 people found this helpful
  2. demonblaster
    Valued Contributor
    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    demonblaster avatar
    7662 posts
    29 December 2017 in reply to Widow of Depression
    Hi darl welcome

    Yes imo I think he needs to see someone, it just as you'd know from your experience gets too hard to do alone, not that he is you're there for him but because he's going in deep it's a good choice.
    Possibly yes he might resent you saying but I suggest,entirely your choice but talk to him & tell him how it's all making you feel which not only is good communication but might help him see that he needs help.

    Sorry for your situation, and that he's stopped communicating makes it that much harder for you.
    You sound like a great partner as he's been for you but helps needed.

    I'm concerned that this could take you back down too.

    Best wished for you both, plz let us know how you go :)
    1 person found this helpful
  3. Bethie
    blueVoices member
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Bethie avatar
    326 posts
    29 December 2017 in reply to Widow of Depression

    Hi

    I went through similar with my partner not being good on tablets then on one of his trips to the Phyc ward a sister hinted I should crush them in his food. Yep kinda tricky but they saw him at his worst and me basically a broken down mess.

    I talked to his GP about it and was told it was ok. Over a month later and he now knows what I did/do but is happy that I did because he did not like the person he was before

    3 people found this helpful
  4. Widow of Depression
    Widow of Depression avatar
    2 posts
    1 January 2018 in reply to demonblaster

    Thanks for the advice.

    He has pulled though this dark patch today and is talking and seems open to discussion. Have had him willingly agree to start seeing a naturapth and doctor for a start.

    So all looking like a positive start.

    2 people found this helpful
  5. demonblaster
    Valued Contributor
    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    demonblaster avatar
    7662 posts
    2 January 2018 in reply to Widow of Depression
    ohhh that's really good to hear, him being willing to get help would be such a relief for you I imagine too

    Great to hear he's talking.

    Thanks letting us know

Stay in touch with us

Sign up below for regular emails filled with information, advice and support for you or your loved ones.


Sign me up