Welcome here to the Forum. You are in a very tough situation with no easy answers.
You have the weight of the family, household, business and partner all on your shoulders and quite rightly from the sound of it see him as bringing everything down. It is not surprising that you are sick and tired of him and don't like him being home.
You ask how to stop hating him, well while things go on as they are I'd be surprised if you were ever able to. The pressure remains on you and has prospects of getting worse if the financial situation worsens or his father passes away.
You also ask how to make him get help. If he is seeing a GP, on meds and still visiting a psychiatrist it probably more a question of getting effective treatment. Perhaps your psychiatrist might be better. The thing is though whatever the treatment it takes the active participation of the patient for things to work, and by the sound of it your husband is reluctant, maybe doing the minimum asked - I don't know.
By the sound of it you are a forthright person and I'd expect you have already tried whatever means you can to get him to engage with his treatment. Beyond that indirect means is all that is left to you.
From the sound of it things can't continue as they are. While you may see a psychologist yourself it is not going to change the basic situation.
Everyone has to have boundaries and look after themselves. At the moment your workload and emotional load is very great indeed. What do you think you should do for a long term solution, at least until your husband shows significant improvement and starts to shoulder his share too?
As a person under so much stress it's important to have as much help as possible. You may have arranged medical support, but how about on a personal level? Is there a family member or friend to care about you and try to support you?
I know this post is no answer to the question you asked, however that one basically asked how you could be made happier to keep going in an untenable position.
Please feel free to post here as often as you would like. If you think I'm on the wrong track that's OK too