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Forums / Supporting family and friends with a mental health condition (carers) / First time anxiety attacks - how do you support someone suffering from them? Especially someone you love so much?

Topic: First time anxiety attacks - how do you support someone suffering from them? Especially someone you love so much?

5 posts, 0 answered
  1. bubbly_
    bubbly_ avatar
    9 posts
    14 June 2018
    So how does one support another who's suffering anxiety attacks? Especially a loved one who's never suffered from them before? Who do you turn to when the man you love is crumbling apart in front of you suffering, telling you he thinks you deserve better in a partner? When he needs the reassurance and support and love in the world, he knows he's got me to count on, to lean on. But if god forbid something should happen to me, and he's in a state of anxiety, I'm wondering whether i'll be able to rely on him to be there for me in the same way. Crazy, isnt it? I feel so stupid even as i'm typing this...this man is my world. His anxiety has only come to light in the past few years and i'm so proud of him for taking the necessary steps to get help. (as i've told him many times) Maybe i'm just sounding a little selfish and self centrered, i dunno. Thoughts anyone?
  2. Guest8901
    blueVoices member
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Guest8901 avatar
    1634 posts
    14 June 2018 in reply to bubbly_

    Hi Tam.

    No ... you dont sound selfish or self-centred at all. You do sound concerned though. And to feel that you are responsible for a loved one's welfare is a very big drain on you. Anxiety is cruel, it affects people in so many ways. Including adversity for our loved ones.

    Just wondering Tams, have you read any of the Beyondblue information contained within this website? It is located in The Facts section, where you will find specific information on the different areas of mental health. There is a section specifically for Anxiety amongst others. I would highly recommend you read that. I also suffer from an anxiety disorder and found this section quite helpful. Since you are caring for someone with anxiety, I would also suggest you look in the section Supporting someone. Again lots of very helpful information there for someone supporting someone with depression or anxiety, as well as looking after yourself. I am a carer for my husband too, and I found it helpful to read the information contained there. Honestly Tams, it is really vital you take care of yourself as well.

    Well done in finally getting your partner to seek appropriate help. He is so lucky he has you to lean on as his support. I hope the professional help he is now receiving will soon make things easier for you both.

    Amanda

    1 person found this helpful
  3. bubbly_
    bubbly_ avatar
    9 posts
    14 June 2018 in reply to Guest8901

    Thank you Amanda, yes I am very concerned but certainly dont hold myself responsible in any way. I have definitely seen what is on the website here so thank you for that. (i'm very resourceful like that!)

    Thanks for the feedback I appreciate it, i'm so proud of him for sure in getting help, i know its a long road, and you are right in saying I need to look after myself too I guess. Its hard always being the strong one!

  4. Guest8901
    blueVoices member
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Guest8901 avatar
    1634 posts
    14 June 2018 in reply to bubbly_

    Thanks for your reply Tam.

    Oh dear ... I did not mean to imply that you were in any way responsible for your husbands condition! I do hope you did not think that. I meant that you likely feel responsible for ensuring his best care and his day to day safety. That is really hard for a loved one.

    I'm glad you've been browsing the excellent resources on the website here.

    And yes, totally right ... it is very emotionally draining to constantly be the strong one in any relationship or situation.

    You have done well to learn as much as possible about anxiety and panic attacks. Knowing about it helps you to understand why he behaves the way he does and better enables you to help him.

    It will also enable you to separate his illness and reactions, from the person himself. This is important, because there may be times that his mood, behaviour and reactions are not consistant with the person you know and love.

    Living and caring for someone with an anxiety condition can result in you feeling very isolated. So please set aside some regular time each week to catch up with friends, family, workmates, etc. And maintain favourite passtimes, hobbies, sports, etc.

    Amanda

    2 people found this helpful
  5. bubbly_
    bubbly_ avatar
    9 posts
    15 June 2018 in reply to Guest8901
    Thank you Amanda I appreciate that acknowledgement that's a really important reminder for those caring for loved ones with anxiety and/or depression.

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