This may be a long one, my mother has suffered from ptsd and depression for about 7 years now and everytime she visits or vise versa i have this expectation that "she is going to be better this time" she never is, and i feel as if this unrealistic expectation just makes it harder to cope with the way she is.. I just get super frustrated with her and the way she behaves and interacts with me puts me in a bad head space. I really love my mum and love spending time with her but i feel like its getting harder for me to cope with.
I've identified the 3 behaviours that mostly effected me last time she visited and im almost certain that these 3 behaviours have always been hard for me to deal with. Please let me know what you think about why she behaves these ways, ive put what i think, but really i'm just assuming and i dont know, (which is kind of funny when you read the 3rd behaviour.)
1. She says shes a really empathic person that picks up on others feelings, but she constantly makes decisions and acts in ways, that completely disregards others feelings. I beleive that she is actually incapable of empathy as she herself just feels numb due to the depression or the antidepressants hence why she diregards others feelings as she doesnt really understand them.
2. she constantly tries to prove herself as being smarter and more capable than others i beleive this is due to her personal insecurities, i'm pretty sure her ptsd has alot to do with insecurity. This i really struggle to cope with as i guess im a little insecure myself. she doesnt give my thoughts or opinions any weight and alot of the time doesnt actually listen to what i have to say, it can be very belittling and upsetting.
3. She makes wide assumptions based on little fact it's to the point where she assumes what im going to say befor ive even finished talking, this is really frustrating and makes it hard for me to want to talk to her. I think this has a bit to do with the above as its very similar behaviour, but i read somewhere that making assumptions on things is a way people cope with understanding there surroundings and situations. which i totally agree with as thats basically what im doing here lol.
Maybe i'm just being overly judgemental, i mean nobodies perfect right? Any advice or tips with coping with the above behaviours or advice on how to accept that she is probably going to suffer from this for the rest of her life would be greatly appreciated.
thankyou in advance for your help. :)