dear Frieda, living with parents and/or in law's parents never works out, there's always hassles and the way you want to do things doesn't seem to suit them, so conflict begins, it may start on one thing which can be sorted out, but then it always leads onto other problems.
It never seems to be an option, and hostility begins, trying to do something so that they don't find out, or they are not involved in.
Now what I am going to say may create conflict between you and your husband, and then your mother in law may become emotional, causing a worse situation, however at the back of nursing homes there are units where the person can live by themselves, which means cooking, shopping, cleaning, etc. and their pension pays for this, not all their pension, but a large proportion.
Now if she is unable to do these things then it may mean for her to be placed into a nursing home, ouch I can hear your mother in law and husband saying.
But really your husband has to decide whether he wants to keep you or keep mummy, and if he's a mummy's boy you know the answer to this, and she will also pressure him into doing what she wants.
You have your own life to live, and remember mummy's boy never seems to understand this, as all they want to do is what mummy says. L Geoff. x