Its been a
few days since you met Sophie_M and I was wondering how things were. Your story
is sad, but more than that I think it puts two people in danger - your mum, and
of your mum is not good, self-harm, is in the throes of trying to beak of with a
most harmful man, then the atrial fibrillation, no money. Now she has confided
in you she was assaulted as a child and there was nobody to go to.
now, there is you.
You have tried
every way you can, time, love, finances, getting medical help. Even your own
grief if she died or killed herself does not register.
person. The other is you. To live each day wondering she will be alive, or if
further AVOs are breached, or any one on a multitude of problems is going to
get worse that day – it is too much for just one person over time, such
pressure can take its toll on you too.
It is easy
to assume one is an inexhaustible well of strength when wants to help someone you
love. It’s not true though. You have limits, beyond which you can become ill, both
physically and mentally, as well as take so much out of your life you can no longer
study or go down the path you intend.
you, you do not control her. For her to be stable with a small ray of hope for
future life will take a medical team specializing in childhood trauma and abusive
relationships -and that is leaving to one side any drug problems or bad behavior by her ex.
Maybe you can
get her to try again but with someone that ‘clicks, which is the most important
can do, no “maybe’s”, is seek help, firstly by seeing your GP in an extended
consultation and saying how you are feeling, get support there for you.
advice from 1800RESPECT on your mother’s situation with her ex.
Then more support
from elsewhere. To much to talk about in one post.
May I ask if
you are on your own or have somebody to help with your mum - a brother or sister
perhaps. Most important is there anyone there for you? If there is now is the time
to lean in them, going alone is so hard.
back and talk some more, you are not alone here and we do care.