From one parent to another, my heart goes out to you. I believe there's almost nothing worse than witnessing our child's sufferance. You can really feel it, like their sufferance is in you. By the sound of it, you feel it deeply.
With my son (16) and daughter (18), I've watched my kids 'come to their senses', while they've managed to bring me to mine. It's been a shared experience. When I say 'come to their senses', what I mean is
- the sense of wonder
- the sense of a need for excitement
- the sense of feeling being brought down
- the sense of feeling inspiration
- the sense of feeling other people's feelings deeply
- the sense of suppression, oppression, what's depressing
- the sense of feeling lost
- the sense of pure exhaustion
- the sense of feeling your own thoughts
- the sense of a need for change
It's an enormous list, so I won't go on.
If your daughter's incredibly sensitive, she'll most likely hold the ability to feel just about everything, an ability that can feel more like a curse at times.
If you're just as sensitive, this is a bonus in a way. I've actually found this to be the case in our household, with my son and daughter being as sensitive as myself. May sound strange but the 3 of us have developed our ability (through multiple lock downs in Melbourne) to get a sense of what we're feeling. For example, I couldn't quite put my finger on why I was becoming more down during each lock down. Trying to maintain my mental health felt like it was becoming gradually impossible. I've experienced depression earlier in life and I know how it feels. Finally, what came to mind was 'This is what suppression feels like'. That was it! I asked my kids whether they were feeling suppression (suppressing feeling the need to connect with things which would normally vibe them up, outside of lock down). They agreed. All of us identified with a new feeling we've never felt before at this level. It's a bloody horrible feeling, that's for sure.
I get where you're coming from when it comes to not wanting to upset your daughter with your feelings. Mine will occasionally say to me 'Mum, stop it. I can feel your agitation to the point of distraction'. She has brilliant senses.
If you wonder with your daughter about what she's feeling/sensing and why, I wonder if this will help. Encourage honesty. Personally, I ask my kids to help me find my faults so I can get rid of them. Consider mentioning to her how you're feeling each other's pain because of your deep connection.