dear Melody, I do hope that you are still checking the site, as it's been awhile since you posted.
Normally the first person that a depressed person targets is the one they love, and in this situation it's unfortunately you.
It's because the person who is not depressed tries valiantly to reason with the depressed person, but there's little chance it will work, because it's impossible, and why this happens is due to the fact that what they are thinking only goes in one direction, and that's downwards, all in a negative way.
There is no way you can discuss any of this in a respectable mature way, and don't worry it happened with me, as I was in denial, and didn't need any help, nor medication so my misery continued on, not that I thought it was like this, because if I had known then I may have wanted professional help.
Before I answer your question I can see that all of this is taking it's toll on you and that you are slipping away into anxiety which will then turn into depression, you can't help this from happening, it's just the process of how the 'carer' falls to the disease, so what you need to do now is to go and see your GP, because you won't be able to cope with this situation until your mind is thinking clearly again
Can I suggest is that you click under 'resources' at the top of this page and order all the printed material from BB which is free for you, but it will completely outline everything about depression, all the facts and ideas which will give you a better understanding, and the same goes for Barbarak, as she is in the same position.
WK has given you some ideas from a previous post he set up, so I hope that you find it or perhaps type it in the search bar.
The alternative is to keep quite, which I know is going to hurt you, but if you decide to force him to speak then what he says won't be to your liking.
Unfortunately it's going to a long process for the both of you, as no one can click their fingers and make it go away, it's such an awful illness that clings to people for as long as it takes to overcome this disease.
I do hope that you can get back to us, as there are more conversations that need to be done between us all. L Geoff. x