Hi Seeking Advice 01,
My situation is similar. I get two words replies all the time, and sometimes I doubt whether he's depressed or not in the mood or just doesn't care. I guess also because our relationship is not that long, same only 8 months, I couldn't really tell whether it's us or him or depression that's causing his withdraw and that made me feel insecure and desperately wanted more communication.
I've also tried very hard not to pressure. But when we talk about it, I realised sometimes he felt the pressure still when I checked on him and wanted to know what's happening in his life. Again, maybe it's him, maybe it's depression. I'm still learning to be more patient and don't think negatively about it and give him space.
One thing I also struggle with is that he can't commit to any plans, because he doesn't know what would happen in a few months, how would he feel that day etc. For example I realised I couldn't count on him to spend New Year's Eve together.
It is tiring. I'm a very positive person, always think of the brighter side and celebrate small successs. We argue about things sometimes becaues I wanted to show him the brighter side while his complete negativity is beating me up.
I did a lot of research before but I think I need to keep reminding myself of the things I should and shouldn't do. The key thing is to take care of myself and lead a healthy life, be responsible of my own life. From reading a lot of comments in the forum I thought maybe I should reduce my expectation, because it wouldn't be a normal balanced relationship. But because I love him and want to stay in this relationship, I should make sure I don't drain myself while supporting him, which can become pressure for him and end up distancing him more.
I felt hopeless sometimes too, but I hope I'm doing the right thing.
Please community champions, give me some reassurance too.
Good luck to both of us.