Hi all. My partner and I have been together 6 months and he has been very upfront about suffering from depression and anxiety for most of his life.
What I need help with is protecting my own mental health while supporting his. Throughout the relationship there has been a lot of push/pull from him. He will say something often not very nice or cruel, which pushes me away. I've been close to ending the relationship over the things he has said because I don't deserve it. Then he says all the right things to draw me back in, it's good for a while and then the cycle repeats. I feel like it's coming from a place of fear, but then another part of me wonders if he's just unsure about the relationship but he tells me this isn't the case.
The other thing is he is stuck in constant negative thought patterns, and is holding on to past hurts. I've been supportive in listening and offering suggestions but he can't seem to move forward, and sometimes I feel more like his therapist than his partner, and it feels like we are going over the same things constantly with no improvement. I feel like I'm very understanding and supportive of his difficulties, but if anyone has suggestions I'm all for it.
Everything of course has a flow on effect, thoughts in his head at night equals restless sleep equals flat and tired which effects his work-he has a lot of mental health days, which effects his concerns about losing his job because he isn't being effective which leads to worries about financial concerns and on and on. I've no doubt living in his head would be exhausting, and covid and lockdown has made everything worse.
I've never been in a relationship like this before and I'm lost as to where I draw the line, because it is effecting my own mental health, happiness and self worth.
The upside is he is great at communicating most of the time, he is willing to admit when he has made a mistake and I can see he is trying. I think this is a relationship worth fighting for, and I hope that if we can resolve some of the current problems in his life that will relieve some of the pressure.
Thanks in advance for any advice.