My husband thinks he has OCD but is yet to seek a formal diagnosis and I'm worried he never will.
Before we started dating he told me about his issues (won't eat food other people have cooked and stops having sex a few months into a relationship). He was going to get help before we started dating but instead, after waiting 6 months we decided to start dating and deal with the issues as we go.
We're now 11.5 year on, married with a toddler. About 5 years ago he saw a GP about anxiety at work but didn't discuss the other issues. He was prescribed anxiety medication but stopped taking it after a week because he didn't like the way they made him feel.
About a month ago he agreed to go back to the GP, discuss all his issues including his aversion to sex, talk about his suspicion that he has OCD and ask for a referral. He went but needs to get a blood test and decide what specialist he wants a referral to and he hasn't done any of that.
I'm worried he doesn't have enough to motivate him to get help. He doesn't exhibit compulsive behaviours because he just avoids situations that trigger the obsessive thoughts. He has gotten so used to this I don't think he cares about not being able to share food with friends and he is used to the lack of sex, it hasn't affected his work, he has a very good job that he thinks his OCD helps with and has lots of friends who don't know what's going on because he is very good at hiding it. It does affect me though, I hate lying to our friends and family and avoiding eating with them and the lack of intimacy in our relationship is impacting my mental health and making me question if what there is in our relationship is enough.
Even if he does seek help I'm worried he won't improve. He saw a therapist many years ago and had a bad experience, we have seen a relationship counsellor and that went well but mostly because she had a very similar way of thinking to him and I can't see how that would work with OCD. He thinks his anxiety about eating food others cook is justified and while he says he wants to want to have sex its been 2 years sincewe lasthad sex and beforethat it was only every 3 months so that isn't a big motivator. I just don't think he sees his thoughts as being wrong or intrusive and is only mildly inconvenienced by avoiding triggers.
How can I help him/is there any point when he says he wants to get better but doesn't follow through.