My husband is suffering from depression but feels the root of the problem is the marriage. I feel angry that l have to deal with all his anger and break downs but l also have to shoulder the blame for him. He feels unloved and unappreciated so l do feel like it’s my fault
I worked this weekend but have to say l struggled emotionally as l feel there will be no end to this roller coaster we are on. It has been a nightmare for the whole family. While all his focus is on the marriage he seems to take no notice of what he can do to improve his mental health.
All the advice he has had from professionals just goes unheeded. He saw a psychiatrist on Friday that told him not to drink for two weeks and to exercise daily. He has been drinking since Friday and drank this evening because he said it was the only way to get any enjoyable from his miserable life.
Over the weekend he was in a great mood and wanted to start a fresh and forget about the past, just to spend the next few months working hard to sort out the relationship. He had spoken with his friend who felt they were small issues that could easily be worked out.
Today l called him at work and his voice broke up, he couldn’t speak and he hung up the phone. I talked with him this evening and he feels unloved, unappreciated and feels we have different values and beliefs. He says he doesn’t blame me but when l listen to how he feels all l hear is blame. He is feeling very low and is finding everything a struggle.
I’m not sure what to do any more if l am causing him so much pain would it be in his best interests to separate?
Before my husband started taking medication to manage his anxiety we had some extremely difficult times. Chairs went flying because a high electrical bill came in, he has had me by the throat on a few occasions. Medication made a big difference and l believe it helped save our marriage.
Over the last year medication seems to make no difference despite try different types and doses. He seems to go from a cheerful high when drinking on the weekend to a low, then something will happen which triggers an angry, paranoid almost psychotic event then crash a day or two of crying in a heap this is followed by a low period where he is at a point where he can work. Then he might be ok for a week or two until we go through it all again.
Im at a loss as to what to do anymore, we seem to have both lost trust in each other and are stuck in this terrible cycle that has completely taken over our lives.