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Topic: My husband won't seek help...

2 posts, 0 answered
  1. holistichorse
    holistichorse avatar
    1 posts
    25 November 2014

    I have been with my husband for 10yrs, married for 2.

    He has always been a pretty happy carefree person. We have a 14month old son and in the last 12months my husband seems to have been in a downward spiral.


    It's a long story about what situation we're in but the short of it is that in the last 12 months he has been having massive mood swings, getting angry over the slightest things such as leaving a coffee mug out, sleeping all the time, not being able to wake him and when I do he says and does things that hedoesn't remember   doing later.

    He doesn't have a job as he's meant to be looking after our son, but he just

    seems to be working in his shed all the time and staying out there til the early hours of the morning.


    He's constantly yelling at me and when anything doesn't go his way he

    can' t cope. He has migraines all the time and he's been sicker in the last year then in the whole 9 before it. 


    He doesn't seem to want to spend any time with me anymore and he doesn't see much of his friends and family either.

    we have been going to counselling together for the lady few months but he's even defensive with the counsellor and doesn't seem to tell her the whole truth. 

    He has times when he gets so upset he becomes irrational like changing the locks on the house so I couldn't get in until I talked to him and agreed with what he wanted....

    i'm pretty sure I still love him but he's beginning to not resemble the man I married and I'm not sure how much more of this I can cope with.

    he's adamant there's nothing wrong with him & that he doesn't want to see anyone. I did get him to go to the doctor once when he slept for nearly 3 days but when the doctor referred him for

    blood tests he never went.


    i'm struggling to cope with living in a house where I feel like I'm treading on egg shells and scared of setting him off but he's hinted that if I ask for a break he won't ever come back.... I don't want him to leave if there's a chance we could get what we had back.

    today he told me that he was so unhappy that the only thing stopping him from killing himself was our son. But yet he still doesn't want to seek help.

    i cry every day as now I'm the one who's unhappy and

    I feel sad for what our life has become but how do you get someone to seek help if they don't want it?

    beyondblue’s clinically-trained moderators often work offline (invisible to you) on issues relating to suicide or self-harm. At the same time, general supportive comments from the community are encouraged. If you have concerns around suicide or self-harm, please phone our support service on 1300 22 4636.

  2. white knight
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • Life membership is awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    white knight avatar
    9756 posts
    26 November 2014 in reply to holistichorse

    Hi H,  welcome to Beyond Blue forums

    What a tough situation.  I get somewhat annoyed with some that wont attend a doctor or wont be open with themselves at therapy.

    However, his view of your marriage isnt a healthy one and his comment about the bus is an example.

    Please read threads like-

    Talking to men - some tips

    The definition of abuse- what is it?


    And many more in recovery section.  At the end of the day...his destiny is in his own hands.  Good luck

    Tony WK

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