Hi,

I’m 26 years old with a toddler and a brand new baby, my parents and I are super close and would normally see each other daily or at least every second day. Around November 2017 I noticed a few changes in my mums behaviour and personality that usually arise when her anxiety is spiralling out of control. Being the busiest time of the year and with me being heavily pregnant and having health issues she definitely tried her best to hide it from me. Mum’s panic attacks became more regular and by mid January she has spiralled so far out of control and into depression that she started having suicidal thoughts and finally we sought help!

its been a huge battle and we are still helping her fight it but basically she has tried a few meds and is on one now that gives her lots of side effects...she feels frightened to take them everyday and it is a daily struggle of questioning whether or not it’s right even with reassurance from medical professionals. She feels highly sedated but remains in a heightened state of anxiety all day! Mornings are her worst and so she is sleeping at her friends house with my Dad so that she is definitely not ever alone because she is so scared.

my Dad is trying his best but he is really struggling emotionally and also he is normally so hyper he is up at the crack of dawn and constantly distracted so leaves her alone from time to time. He wants to make her better and I feel he is getting frustrated with the situation. He doesn’t show it but Mum knows what he is like so she instantly feels like a burden and the guilt factor is building since Dad has had 3 months of work to care for her.

She hasn’t eaten or slept properly since December and has drastically lost weight (2 dress sizes maybe more now). She is the most kind hearted, amazing women and through all of this is trying to protect me and my boys from seeing her like this which I’m trying to be respectful of but at the same time she is my best friend and I miss her like crazy...I’m yearning for my mother especially after just having a baby.

im at a loss of what to do or say when I’m with her...I try exercise, distraction, talking, silence...I’ve bought her a journal that prompts her to fill things in to help clear her mind at times or focus on things that make her happy, I’ve bought her worry beads just as a thoughtful type of thing hoping it will be distracting but also make her focus on her breathing as a tool during times of panic or tears.

I would love some advice.

Thanks

Hi DLSH, welcome

Your mum is on track doing many of the basics we have found to be effective.

The problem is that many of these rituals work over time, medium and long range not necessarily short term fixes.

Your mums issues seem to be on the more extreme side. This means patience is needed by others. Medication and other ideas might be the early noticable changes short term, hopefully.

Meds will cause side effects. In my experience at least 8 weeks is needed before one can feel any real effect. I tried 12 before one hit the mark!

We arent professional medical staff so you are reading experiences of those who have been there.

The best thing I can do therefore is list several threads pertaining to your mums issues and that of her lived ones. So, use google and select ideas from these threads you havent tried. You only need to read the first post of each thread if you want.

Topic: anxiety, how I eliminated it- beyondblue

Topic: who cares for the carer?- beyondblue

Topic: an over active mind- beyondblue

Topic: anxiety how people view you- beyondblue

Topic: the balance if your life- beyondblue

Topic: what life can be like at tge end of the tunnel- beyondblue

Topic: relationship strife?, the peace pipe- beyondblue

Topic: depression, is there any positive?- beyondblue

Topic: acceptance is this our biggest challenge? - beyondblue

Topic: they just wont understand, why?- beyondblue

That is a sample. Up the top of the page youll see "all posts". Under various sections you'll find posts you can click onto.

Its great you are so concerned for your mother. A bit more education all round and patience might turn things around.

Repost in those threads or here or even start your own thread. We are here to help.

Tony WK