I'd like to join TonyWK in welcoming you here to the Forum.
In some ways you do not realise how much you have accomplished. I'll say more in a moment.
Just as background I've PTSD,bouts of depression and constant anxiety - it was not for the same reasons as your wife but I have ended up in a pretty reasonable life, loved and loving, supported and supporting, working at what I enjoy.
It took time, hospitalization, therapy and medication -but you could say I've recovered.
I've told you all this so you know there is hope.
So what have you accomplished? well I never trusted anyone, you have got inside that bubble and are trusted -to an extrodinary degree. While initially she may just have mentioned trauma, car accident and her mum's condition these are things that are more impersonal or can readily be seen.
Now she has shown you the full extent of her illness and opened up, telling you of her abuse by her brother and the encounter while you were in hospital. Add to that a violent marriage which would make it harder, she has entrusted you.
You must be treating her exactly right, which is not esy when those symptoms can be very hurtful, I don't know how my wife stuck it out. She did have support and that is terribly important, she had her mum. Do oyu have anyone you can lean on, talk wiht frankly and who will simply care -a family member perhaps? Coping on your own in isolation is very hard indeed.
You mentioned you had a psych of you own, may I ask about that? Any form of Mental Health condition will make matters that much harder.
It is excellent news you have found a therapist that specializes in PTSD. Does your wife intend to see that person? I'm not sure if it is a psychiatrist, psychologist or councilor who is best. I merely think from my own experience they have to be very familiar with the condition and be able to gain the person's trust, not easy but possible.
It is something that took me a very long time but ended up able to live in family life and work doing well. While not all the symptoms are gone they are much muted and manageable.
Tony has given some good advice about the Christmas period. Please let us know how you get on
You may well be right she 'followed orders' and saw it from a distance.