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Topic: Needing help with my daughter

4 posts, 0 answered
  1. Moama77
    Moama77 avatar
    1 posts
    26 December 2017

    Hi

    is there anyone with any stratagies on what i could say to get my daughter 15 years old to get professional help. She stubborn, doesnt matter what i do or try she will not seek professional help i have told her various times that there is nothing wrong seeing someone about her issues she has and its nothing to be ashamed about. And that Everything is confidential what she speaks about and its not scary to speak to someone and what types of profession helps do in appointments. I too have depression and feeling down about this as i feel i need to sort her out before myself. She has spoken to me about little things that have been bothering her but not much else that also has been bothering her. She sits up most of the night. And sleeps most of the day. She refuses to leave her room unless some of her friends beg her to go out have some fun like swimming or go to movies, shopping etc. she is known to lie. She is also trying to gather info that she could have epilepsy. Im so unsure what to do anymore. My family don’t understand what she is going through due to they havent experienced depression. Im left out with ideas what else to say to get her to speak to someone. I dont want to send her to mental health hospitals as i feel its not right at the moment. Feeling lost i dont know what to do im single mum and she doesnt have an father figure about as well. Its just me.

    so has anyone got any advice how to go about getting her to seek help. Cause she refusing everytime i ask her if she needs to speak to someone.

  2. Bethie
    blueVoices member
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Bethie avatar
    326 posts
    26 December 2017 in reply to Moama77

    Hi.

    My 14 year old son is exactly the same except for googling epilepsy. It seems to be normal teenage behavior from talking to other Mums. We know nothing. I basically have to trick my son into going shopping for stuff he wants to get him in the car to ask how he's going.

  3. Croix
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • Life membership is awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    Croix avatar
    10565 posts
    26 December 2017 in reply to Moama77

    Dear Moama&&

    Welcome here. It is obvious you are very worried for your daughter, as anyone would have to be to want them to get professional help. Please excuse me, I'm not being insensitive or belittling your concerns however I do think you might need to say a little more about the things in her behavior that are troubling you.

    At present you have said she only leaves her room when pressed by friends, sleeps during the day and is up at night. In the conversations you have had with her she has only mentioned 'little things'. Plus the epilepsy and telling some lies.

    Does she refuse to go to school to the extent it is harming her education, is she eating properly, have you seen any signs of self-harm or drug use? Has she been bullied, is the breakup with her father affecting her - and so on.

    OK, just talking in general and assuming there is something wrong I'm sure you have tried all the reasonable means to persuade her to come out, and to see a doctor, so what is left?

    First Is there anyone she respects, a friend, family member of someone from school who she might take notice of?

    Secondly I'd imagine setting an example by receiving treatment yourself would be appropriate, not only will she see what is involved but you can directly benefit from this yourself, and may - apart form other things in your life -find your daughter's behavior easier to cope with.

    Thirdly I would expect if you have been constantly pushing her to seek help she may well be pushing back, and neither of you will get anywhere. It may be worth considering adopting a different approach where you are simply a friend and companion, trying to do things she enjoys together - perhaps it might be you going to the movies with her.

    Again a general thing, many young people with low self-esteem feel they are not allowed opinions - they are simply disregarded in the decision making process. Perhaps if that is the case here then encouraging her decision making might be appropriate. Obviously not on matters of very great import to start with, however demonstrating a trust in her judgment might be helpful.

    I'm afraid all of this is conjecture, and is in any case long term. Would you like to come back and say more?

    Croix

    I'm sorry to sl=peak so bluntly however knowing hte nature of hte problem will make thngs a lot easier

  4. Croix
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • Life membership is awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    Croix avatar
    10565 posts
    26 December 2017 in reply to Croix
    P.S. My apologies about the typos, I hit send prematurely
    -C

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