Nice to hear from you again.
It must be a relief to have your son out of jail. I’m sure that you and your wife have had quite a difficult time dealing with worry and anxiety for his welfare. Hopefully this moment can be the start of a more positive chapter in your lives.
The prescription for antidepressants suggests that he’s had some mental health care, which is great. Do you know if he takes the medicine? Is anyone treating him at present? Does he have a diagnosis?
No pressure to answer here, but I’m hoping that he is sharing information with you.
I’m wondering if you think it would help to seek family counselling at this point. You’ve all been through a highly distressing ordeal and it might help to talk about it and discuss the future as a family.
I suggest this because your son’s current lifestyle isn’t healthy or sustainable—and I know you know that. He must be lonely and somewhat adrift without the sense of purpose one gets from work or study. And things like exercise, hobbies and social connections are vital to our wellbeing.
I’m not a doctor, just a mum that does her best to care for an adult child with a mental health condition, but my gut tells me that your son would probably benefit from professional mental health support right now. From my experience, recovery is not often a straight and simple line from A to B. And transitions can be really hard.
Given he’s 40 and living in your home, I think it would be reasonable to make family counselling a condition of his continued living with you. Particularly as all of you want to avoid a repeat of past experiences.
If you can get him to go you might get some valuable insight into what he’s dealing with and have the opportunity to influence and support his path to recovery. Just something for you to consider.
It might also be prudent for you and your wife to agree on a plan of action should the situation deteriorate. For example, you may choose to call an ambulance to ensure he gets a proper mental health assessment. You may also want to make a list of relevant emergency numbers. You may want to identify an alternative place for him to live.
I’m not trying to be negative, it’s just easier to prepare a crisis plan with cool clear thinking before you’re actually in the crisis.
Kind thoughts to you